Whether you're in elementary school, middle school, high school, or college—cliques happen! Everywhere you go, people pressure you to fit into specific cliques. Maybe you do, maybe you don't. If you're not in any clique, you're labeled as an "outsider" or a "floater." If you are, you're judged by who your friends are and not who YOU are. It often feels like a lose-lose situation!
In high school, my group of friends were freaky nerds. We were "freaks" because we loved wearing fishnets and listening to Nine Inch Nails. We were "nerds" because we got good grades and were in honors classes. We were tortured daily by our peers for being nerds and freaks. In the social caste system that divided our high school, we fell somewhere lower (less cooler and much less popular) than the "pretty" girls and higher (more likely to succeed) than the "druggies."
The word "cliques" has a bad connotation. It reminds you of that one group of girls in your school that are snobby and are mean to anyone that isn't as pretty or thin or smart as they are. Not all cliques are bad. Just because you have your own clique of chicas to hang with, doesn't mean you hang out in the girl's locker room, snapping bras and making girls cry.
There are an equal amount of bad cliques and good cliques. Here are some helpful warning signs that should make you re-evaluate who your friends are:
- One of your favorite activities to do as a group is make fun of people, whether it is behind their backs or right to their faces.
- Your friends do drugs and/or drink alcohol and pressure you to do the same.
- Cliques you belong to are exclusive and don't let anyone in if they are of a different race, class, religion—or just plain different from you.
- Your friends pressure you to get into trouble with them, like cutting class or letting them cheat off of you on a test.
- They make fun of you when you do well in school.
- They make fun of you when you don't do well in school.
- They tease you if you have a different opinion from them.
When you're a teenager, having a group of friends that you can relate to is important. This is the time when you want to break away from your parents and create links with people your own age, which results in the formation of cliques.
Your friends can be a great support system, especially when it seems like everything is going wrong. The group of people you associate with should be happy for you when good things happen and not be jealous. You should be able to openly voice your opinions and values with your friends.
You aren't what you eat and you aren't what your friends are. You should be defined by your actions and values, not your friends! Be independent and just be you!
Having great cliques of friends is awesome, but it doesn't mean you should only stick to hanging out with them. It's okay to branch out from your friends. If you limit yourself to your clique, you'll miss out on all of the other interesting and fun people walking through the halls of your school.
