Friday, April 26, 2013

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Can’t decide on a career? Try Job Shadowing

What is Job Shadowing?

Job shadowing is a career exploration process that enables an individual to experience a profession in person by following (shadowing) a professional and observing a typical day of work in the field. Job shadowing is a great way to get to know the ins and outs of a profession and requires very little time commitment or effort on your part (compared to what you will get out of it).

Even those who already have an idea of what they would like to do should still job shadow to see if you actually like the work and want to make a career out of it.

Job Shadowing: 60 Jobs in 60 Days

Michael, who is currently about halfway through his 60 jobs in 60 days project, reports that the project is going very well with some of his favorite job shadows so far being city councilor, judge, journalist, publisher, dentist, and pediatrician.

So far the experience has helped him narrow down what he’s interested in: he really enjoyed job shadowing for both an optometrist and a dentist. “I could definitely see myself doing either of those careers and I probably wouldn't have known that without doing 60 jobs in 60 days.”

The project has been a learning experience. Not only has it given him a deep understanding of what many professionals do every day, he has earned himself some great business contacts. Talking and meeting with new professionals has also enhanced his interview skills as he gets comfortable with the practice he gets during the project.

Another valuable tip he learned: people will want to help you if you take the time to reach out in an honest way. Meaning if you know someone in a career field you are considering (or, even if you don’t know them), feel free to reach out, ask questions, and get advice. It’s always great to have some type of mentor who can help lead you down the right path.

While he regrets not starting the project earlier (It would have been nice to put the innovative project on college and scholarship applications), it will surely be a rewarding experience in the end. Once he completes his objective he should have a good idea of what he wants to go into and what he doesn’t.

Benefits of Job Shadowing

Career Direction. Will help with the career exploration process. Is this something I want to be doing the rest of my life?

Networking. You'll gain contacts in the industry who can answer questions and point you in the right direction providing advice on the chosen career path.

Valuable experience. Job shadowing will help you be more outgoing, improve your interview skills, and get you comfortable to these types of settings.

Wednesday, April 24, 2013

Best College Internship Programs

It's time to drop the coffee getting intern stereotype and look at these Top 10 internship programs for college students.

An internship at one of these companies will be fun, knowledgeable and career building.

It is a great way to gain experience and determine if you are interested in a certain career, receive on-the-job training and get paid for it at the same time. The typical college internship program last 8-12 weeks during the summer months.

1. Google - Working at Google has many perks, like three free gourmet meals a day, a game room, a lap pool, a rock climbing wall and just an overall great culture. Some people even compare it to a college like atmosphere. Being a Google Intern may be your best shot at a career at the GooglePlex, considering Google only hired 2200 regular job applicants out of over a million last year.

2. Microsoft - The Microsoft Internship is a 12 week long program. There won't be any coffee fetching here; interns do the same work as regular hires. The program is topped off with a summer BBQ at Bill Gates house.

3. Southwest Airlines - Headquartered in Dallas, TX, the Southwest Airlines internship program is a great way for college students to both work and travel over summer break. Especially with their biggest perk being Free Unlimited Southwest Airlines travel. Southwest also offers career development classes and has a casual dress code, which is great for that summer heat.

4. Apple - The Apple Internship Program is a 12-week paid summer internship in the Silicon Valley. Apple's casual work environment also has benefits such as relocation assistance, a medical plan, and employee discounts on Apple products.

5. Genentech - The Genentech Internship Program is an intensive 10-12 week summer program. Interns are placed in project teams of research, development, manufacturing or business areas related to their major. Genentech prefers college juniors who major in life or physical sciences or chemical engineering for its internship program. The company was also named Fortune's "Best Company to Work for" in 2006.

6. Edward Jones - Interested in being a Stock Broker? New brokers at Edward Jones get mentored by a veteran broker for a whole year. Interns are put through a cross-training experience and are given training in Finance, Human Resources, Marketing, Products & Services, Research, Sales, Hiring & Training, Service, and Trust.

7. Nike - Nike Internships last from June 19 - August 24 in Beaverton, Oregon near Portland. The best perks of interning at Nike include a membership at their state-of-the-art fitness centers and access to the Nike Employee Store.

8. Pixar - A Pixar internship lets student interns work assisting in the production of a feature film. It's a great internship position for Linux or UNIX users and those interested in Computer Science, Mathematics, Engineering, and Art.

9. Sun - An internship at Sun Microsystems is a year round internship with the goal of hiring the student upon graduation. Most of the Internships in the San Francisco Bay area are available for business, engineering and computer science majors. Besides having a casual work environment and a casual dress code, other perks at Sun include free software, access to Sun University Classes, and a Fitness Center.

10. Exxon Mobil - Here is your chance to work for the company that tops the Fortune 500 list nearly every year. An internship is a great way towards career development and getting a job after college. An internship at Exxon is the best way to get your foot in the door, while receiving competitive pay at the same time. Most internships are filled through on-campus interviews so look out for the next career fair to get into this 10-14 week summer program.

Sunday, April 21, 2013

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TERRENCE J !


Terrence Jenkins (born April 21, 1982), better known as Terrence J, is an American actor and television personality and model best known as the host of BET's popular music video countdown show 106 & Park from 2006 until 2012. He is now the new co-anchor of E! News.








Saturday, April 20, 2013

Ace your exams: Finals Week Preparation


Finals week is a test of endurance on your brain and body. For some, it will be hell. So to make sure you don’t end up like this during finals week, we offer some tips to get you ready and prepared for a week full of exams.

You need to be mentally ready to take on finals week: A sharp brain starts with proper sleep and a healthy diet.

Step 1: Get Proper Sleep

The amount of sleep you get has a major impact on your academic performance.

No all-nighters here: Your best bet is to get a full night’s sleep when studying before exams.

Researchers at UC Berkeley found that when we sleep we boost our ability to learn. Much of this brain boosting sleep happens in the second half of the night, so if you sleep six hours or less, you are shortchanging yourself and might not be able to learn as much.

Research has shown that brain waves during the latter part of the sleep period promote our capacity to store fact-based memories. “This discovery indicates that we not only need sleep after learning to consolidate what we’ve memorized, but that we also need it before learning, so that we can recharge and soak up new information the next day,” says Bryce Mander, a post-doctoral fellow in psychology at UC Berkeley who led the study.

Sleep not only refreshes the mind, but can make you smarter. The more hours we spend awake, the more sluggish our minds become. Therefore, pulling an all-nighter, a common practice during finals week, decreases the ability to learn new facts by nearly 40 percent, due to a shutdown of brain regions during sleep deprivation.


Take a nap after long study sessions
When it comes to napping, power naps actually work. Naps under one hour long can dramatically boost and restore brain power. Anything longer can make you feel sluggish when you wake back up. Even a 20 minute nap will greatly benefit anyone who feels they need a recharge as it will improve overall alertness, boost mood and increase productivity. Therefore, after a long study session, it may be beneficial for you to take a quick nap so your brain has time to “file away” all the information you just took in and give it time for a quick recharge.

Getting Alert
After a good night of sleep it can be a good idea to start your day off with a nice cup of coffee. Indulging in a caffeinated beverage of your choice will make you more alert. You don’t want to overdo the caffeine and become jittery, but a nice cup or two should help get the brain spinning.

Have a Study Plan
Take the time to plan out a study schedule for finals week. Decide how much time you will set aside, what tasks you will complete in this time and the order in which you will complete the tasks. When creating your study plan think about the times when you are most productive. If you find it easiest to study in the morning but hard to concentrate at night, schedule as much of your study for the mornings as possible. Be realistic when developing your game plan, otherwise it will be useless. Once you have a plan, stick to it and disregard all the distractions that come with college life.

Block out All Distractions
When it comes time to study you need to be 100% focused. This means blocking out all physical and mental distractions, including facebook and your cell phone. Always study in an environment that you are comfortable in that allows you to do your best work. You probably already know what sort of environment you are most productive in so try to recreate that environment when you choose to study.

Bonus Tip: Try switching around your study environments rather than using a single location to study. Studies show the environment you choose helps you remember things better. Simply alternating the room where a person studies improves retention as the brain makes subtle associations between what it is studying and the background sensations it has at the time. Studying in a more natural setting with a view can be even more effective.

Make Effective Use of your Study Time
It is important to make the most of the study time you have to maximize the results from the effort you put in. Know where you currently stand grade wise in your classes so you know how well you will have to do on the final to get the grade you desire. This will also help when it comes to prioritizing what class you need to study for the most.

Take Regular Breaks
As finals week looms, you might start getting the feeling that you need to work for hours on end, but in doing so you are actually doing yourself a disservice. Retention of information is best when your mind is fresh, so take short breaks regularly and remove yourself from studying so you can come back refreshed and ready to absorb more information. Maybe even consider exercising as a break. Exercise is said to sharpen the mind.

Don’t Stress: Overcome Test Anxiety

Preparing for Test Day
Make a checklist of things you need to bring to the exam and consult with it on exam day to make sure everything you need is on hand.

Use Office Hours
Take advantage of office hours and discussion sections before big tests. Students who properly utilize office hours often do better on exams and papers. The week before exams and finals are times in which your professor will be in high demand, so they may schedule additional office hours during that time.

Many office hours go unused by students, which is unfortunate because professors are such a great resource of information (they know what will be on the test). It is essential to visit during these times because professors are typically in the process of determining what will be on the exam and can give away clues about what will be on it.

It is important to ask lots of questions and make sure you are clear on what the exam will cover so you know you are focusing your energy wisely. If you can cut out material you don't need to focus on for the upcoming exam, you'll save yourself hours of study time. Knowing what to study (and what not to) before a test can be very beneficial.

Review Previous Tests
Go over previous tests that have been given throughout the semester. Spend most of your time learning what you got wrong. You should also take the time to get to know the format of the final so there are no misunderstandings later. Be sure to ask your professor for an old final exam for review purposes.

Study Time: Make flashcards for review

Flashcards are an excellent way to learn material and learn it quickly. It works in two parts because you are learning while you write the information down on the flashcards and then when you test yourself later, the information is reinforced. Run through these cards as much as possible to help the information stick in your mind.

Create flashcards for review using StudyBlue, an excellent tool to help with acing your finals.

StudyBlue is a free tool to help you study and prepare for exams (and better yet, actually learn and remember the material). With StudyBlue you can create digital flashcards with images and audio and use them on their free mobile app, making it great for studying on the go.

When reviewing flashcards, the application will remember what you get right and wrong so you can focus on the material you haven’t learned yet. With this technology you can also create personalized practice quizzes to further prepare yourself for the upcoming exam.

Using these tips can help you get better prepared and organized for a long, grueling week of exams. After finals week, a nice semester break comes well deserved. Take some time to unwind and enjoy some fun in moderation. Maybe even pull a dorm room prank or two.

Info from CampusGrotto.com

How to Prepare for a Job Interview


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During your job search you will more than likely be called in for an interview at some point. Most companies use interviewing as a way of getting to know an applicant better and to gauge whether they are qualified for the job being applied for. It is important that you are well prepared for the interview. Usually employers will make their final decision during this session so it's imperative that you make a positive and lasting impression. There are a few ways you can prepare ahead of time so that you ace the interview and make yourself the prime candidate for the job.

Research the Company

Employers will be impressed if you come into an interview with knowledge of the company. Before the interview, check out the website of the company. Learn about the history, number of employees, and other facts that they may display on their website. You can throw these little quips in during the interview. The interviewer will be impressed that you took the time to learn more about the company and its founders before coming in for the interview.

Brush up on your Skills

If you have a degree in a specific field it is important that you stay up to date on the subject matter. For example, if you specialize in computer programming, then you may want to be prepared to sit down and answer questions about code, computer language and programming. Some places will even make you write a sample program during the interview. If you have a degree in Psychology, then you will probably be asked sample problems and situations related to Psychology and how you would handle them. Therefore, it is important that you are prepared to show off your knowledge.

Bring your Resume

The interviewer will most likely have a copy of your resume before you arrive, however, you may want to bring another copy with you. If you are interviewing for a teaching position within a school district, you will want to make sure to bring your teacher portfolio. Bring any other paperwork that you feel would benefit you during the interview session.

Practice

Ask a friend, parent or mentor to sit down with you and ask you sample interview questions. This will prepare you to answer questions on the spot. When the interviewer asks you questions, you need to think quick and come up with a good answer right away.
Popular questions that may be asked:
  • “Why do you think you are a good candidate for this job?”
  • “In what ways would you be an asset to this company?”
  • “What are your career goals?”
  • “Describe success in your own words.”

Be on Time

There is nothing worse than showing up late for a job interview. Make sure you show up on time and prepared. If you have changed your mind about attending the interview, then be sure to call in advance and cancel. Be professional and be ready to put your best foot forward so that you will be the person they potentially hire.

Friday, April 19, 2013

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Feeling Beautiful – Girl Body Image

Have you noticed that you and your friends seem to be growing in different ways? Suddenly your best friend Tina towers over you, her long legs fitting just perfectly in her new tight jeans? Or maybe your friend Heather has, well, filled out her tank tops, turning boys' heads, while you are still struggling with your girl body image? Jasmine's hair is silky and Ashley's stomach is naturally tanned and flat as a board! Are you feeling like an ugly duckling in a room full of swans? And worse yet, does hanging around your friends suddenly make you feel uncomfortable!

"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." These wise, ageless words were spoken by Eleanor Roosevelt, America's astute former First Lady. Mrs. Roosevelt was a tireless advocate for women's rights; not only a woman's right in society, but also a woman's right to feel important, smart and beautiful, in her own way by having a great girl body image. Mrs. Roosevelt's message is straightforward and personal. If your girl body image feels inferior, then others will see you that way. However, if you believe in yourself, in your own style, personality and beauty, then the world will see you the same way. Easier said than done, right?

So how do you go about feeling beautiful when you're surrounded by magazine covers of breathtaking models, sexy movie stars and, of course, those almost perfect-looking girls in gym class? Well, start by taking stock of your girl body image.

What about yourself do you like best? Come on, everyone has something they like! Do you have great hair? Cool, big eyes? Long, thin legs? Accentuate the positive. Choose clothing that shows off your fine points. Spend extra time on your hair. Add a tasteful new eye shadow to your lids. Then stand up tall and strut your stuff to show off your positive girl body image.

Take a good hard look at yourself and be realistic about those features that bother you. Are you suffering from a bit of teen acne? Are you still carrying around some baby fat? Then take action. It may seem effortless, but even the most exquisite models work long and hard on their looks. Curb your snacking or start a skincare routine. You'll see a difference in your looks and you'll feel empowered because you've taken control of a problem and improved your girl body image.

Talk to your mom, a favorite teacher, or a friend. Chances are you'll find that everyone feels inadequate about some aspect of their looks. You're not alone. You'll also be pleasantly surprised to learn that all women go through an awkward girl body image period. Believe in your inner beauty! Oh, it may sound hokey, but it works. Beauty truly is only skin deep. A winning personality, intellect, and kindness add an outer glow to every teen. Let the real you shine through. Not only will you feel beautiful but you'll look better, too.

Exercise and watch your diet. A healthy teen is a beautiful teen. Run on the treadmill, join the volleyball team, or just add 50 jumping jacks to your daily regiment. Then, since you are what you eat, eat a balanced diet. Would you rather shine like a delicious red apple or a greasy bag of chips? Exercise and diet make your blood flow and create a healthy, all-American glow to your complexion and girl body image.

No one can make you feel bad, if you don't let them. Right? Stay strong. Believe in yourself and others will follow. If you think you're "all that," then you are!
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The 10 Things you Need to Start doing for Guaranteed Success in College


Know any recent college grads having trouble finding work? Any who are still living at home or working an hourly job in food or retail? It's more common than you might think. This is the reality nowadays as the job market is a tough one and getting a degree alone just isn't enough anymore.

You have to do more if you want to succeed in college and beyond.

The good news is doing more is actually fun and will make your college experience memorable, exciting, and worthwhile.

The choices you make in college really can have a tremendous effect on the course of your life. College is the one investment you have the most control over. It is up to you how much you choose to be involved in it and how engaging you make the whole experience. You have control as to how much you want to get out of it, and if you do this right, you will reap the benefits for years to come.

Success in college is more than just going to class and getting good grades. To get ahead, you need to get more out of the experience. The energy level required for a successful college experience is intense, but with the proper dedication you can take advantage of all that is available to you on a college campus.

If you are currently in college, you need an action plan for success. You need to separate yourself from your peers by making the most of your time there. Print this list out and check it against what you’re doing right now. Fulfilling each task will solidify your college experience and set you up for post-college success.

Your time in college is limited, so it is imperative you make the right choices. Follow these 10 steps to guide yourself towards a successful college experience.


1. Make new friends in class
The key word here is new. It’s easy and comfortable to stick to the same crowd – and in many ways it’s wonderful to have that solid group of support. However, it is important that you expand your social horizons in college.

Up until college, most of us have lived our entire lives in our small bubble of high school, interacting with people who, though they may have seemed wildly different, were generally very similar (e.g. lived in the same place, often of similar socio-economic status, etc.).

It’s vital to step outside your comfort zone and get to know new people. They will open your mind and help you become a more well-rounded student who is able to understand a variety of perspectives. (Making new friends is also important if you find yourself currently surrounded by negative people. The friends you have rub off on you more than you realize.)

2. Sit in the front row of every class
I once heard that if you didn’t change anything about your study habits but simply started sitting in the front row, your grades would improve. I believe it. The best way to know? Try it out. In short, the professor will notice you, it will be much more difficult to zone out, and you might just find yourself being much more engaged.

3. Visit the career center often
It’s vital to figure out what major and career interests you the most as soon as possible. Having direction will give new life to your college experience. The best way to find this out is through your college’s career center. Take all the career tests they have. Read at least three books about career discovery. Do a resume review. The career center is one of the most underutilized resources in college and yet it is one of the most valuable.

4. Get a professorial mentor
Professors know the college landscape better than anyone, and getting to know one very well will help you manage the college world and possibly get nominated for awards and opportunities you would never have known about otherwise.

Get to know all of your professors and ask them for help in class; then, meet more often with and ask advice of the one you feel you connect with the most. My professorial mentor helped me win over $5,000 in awards, helped me get free trips to New Orleans and England, and nominated me to be the commencement speaker. Professors you know well will also be able to write you killer recommendation letters.

5. Be a leader in a club
Being a part of clubs is crucial to expand your social network and your professional skills. However, being a leader is where the real magic happens. When you’re a leader, you have an important stake in something. It feels great to see how much others rely on you, and what you can accomplish as a team. Club leadership positions are also very important to helping you win scholarships – and they look great on resumes for internships and jobs. Leaders in clubs also often get to travel to amazing conferences.

6. Do something you never thought you could do
College offers many opportunities that often only a handful of students take advantage of because the others are too scared, too apathetic, or too wrapped up in the day-to-day to make a big leap.

Study abroad. Join a club that scares you. Go on a road trip with friends. Start a small business. Go on a service trip. Skydive. Speak publicly. Be the president of a large club.

Whatever it is that you don’t actually think you could do because you couldn’t afford it or don’t have the skills – just do it! These are the experiences that make college incredible, and offer astounding personal growth. For me, those experiences included joining a college dance team, traveling to England, being president of a club, and presenting a research paper in New Orleans. I was scared of every single one, and yet they changed me for the better.

7. Get a professional mentor
The entire third section of Community College Success is dedicated to teaching you how to find professional mentors that will change your life. As the first in my family to graduate college, the professional world was daunting. Professional mentors helped ease me into the transition, gave me invaluable advice, and led me to job opportunities. Ask professionals who have jobs that interest you for their advice. You’d be amazed at who will talk to you, and where it will lead.

8. Get a fascinating internship
Internships can open doors and help you learn about the professional world more than anything else. Whether it is paid or unpaid, in a large company you’d die to work for or a small start-up, find one that fascinates you. Get an internship doing something or being very close to something you really, really want to do with your life. This is where internships have the most benefit, because you’ll have the opportunity to see if it’s something you actually want to do. It will either show you the career is not what you expected it to be, or it will give you a great experience and contacts in the career you want to go into.

9. Write down your goals
Writing down your goals changes everything. It feels like magic. That magical feeling comes from the incredible results of being focused. The most common thread in all successful college students I’ve ever met is the ability to focus.

When you write down your goals and read them every day, your mind is suddenly focused on what you need to do that day and what opportunities to seize in order to make those goals a reality. Write down your goals today and put them all over your room. Trust me.

10. Develop a morning routine
One of the most transformative things I did when I had to manage writing a book, having a full-time job, and getting a Master’s degree was developing a morning routine that helped me focus every single day. When we start the day rushed, we will have a hurried, seemingly unproductive day. Develop a morning routine that works for you, doing things such as journaling, reading your goals, eating a healthy breakfast, reading a non-fiction book, etc. You can read more about my current morning routine on my blog.

If you’re the kind of person who reads Campus Grotto and reads a post like this to the end, I know you are the kind of amazing college student who will find great success. You are the kind of student who looks for more, is willing to rise above the norm, and will take action on everything you’ve read above. Thank you for investing in yourself and for sharing your talents with the world through your education.

Thursday, April 18, 2013

The Heart of Strong Girls

What does it take to scale a mountain, free-fall out of an airplane, catch a killer wave? Are you ready to bungee jump, kayak the rapids, walk on a circus high wire? Ultimately, what are you made of? What makes strong girls?

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If you look into the heart and soul of truly strong girls, what would you uncover? Passion. Courage. Determination. Perseverance. Boundless Energy. An incredible sense of adventure. Strong girls believe anything is possible. They are that rare breed of female who knows that no obstacle is too large and no dream is too big. These young women may come from different backgrounds and have very different interests, yet they all have one thing in common—they love what they do; and they'll do whatever it takes to reach their goals.

So where does their daring come from? How can you, too, feel the adrenaline rush that comes from taking risks and pushing the limits? How can you catch the strong girl fever (and maybe you already have it) and challenge yourself in ways you only dreamed about before?

Get Your Mind in Shape: Positive thinking, better known as optimism, is a strong girl's best friend. You need to mentally prepare for your risk-taking adventure. Let's face it—it's a little scary snowboarding for the first time. You need to think with courage and confidence.

Exercise Your Body: Thinking you can do it is truly not enough. Whether you are exploring the wilderness, playing football with the boy's varsity team or vaulting over a 30-foot wall with ease, you need to strengthen and stretch your body so it works for you.

Know the Risks: Only really strong girls can admit that they are apprehensive, maybe even frightened, about the prospect of challenging themselves physically and pushing themselves to the limits. A responsible, daring person is truthful about the risks and potential dangers in anything she tempts to accomplish. Honest strong girls are prepared strong girls.

Set Goals: You have heard people talk about the journey being more satisfying than the final destination? Well, it goes double for strong girls. Ask your average 13-year-old runner or fossil hunter, and they will tell you that getting to the top is "no big deal," it's what you put into it along the way that matters.
Visualize Your Dreams: Take action. Make lists. Read books. Dare to daydream. See yourself climbing the mountain, sailing the sea, floating through space. And then believe it could be you. So, strong girls have all the fun? Actually, not. There are many days when they feel discouraged, doubtful, and downright exhausted while they chase their dreams. But strong girls never give up.

Follow in the gutsy footsteps of these stupendous women.

1804: Alicia Meynell of England becomes the first female jockey.

1905: Nettie Stevens, through her study of mealworms, identifies the X and Y-chromosomes, which determine sex.

1909: Harriet Quimby becomes the first American licensed female pilot in the United States. In 1912, she is the first woman to fly across the English Channel, and the first female pilot authorized to fly U.S. mail.

1911: Annie Smith Peck conquers the 21,079-foot north summit of Mount Coropuna, Peru.

1928: Betty Robinson is the first American woman to win an Olympic gold medal in track and field (100 meters).

1932: Amelia Earhart is the first woman to fly solo across the Atlantic.

1942: The first group of female pilots flies for the Armed Forces.

1948: Alice Coachman is the first black woman and the only American to win an Olympic gold medal in track and field at the 1948 Olympic Games.

1966: Joyce Hoffman wins her second straight surfing championship in Sydney, Australia.

1974: Girls are officially admitted to Little League.

1983: Sally Ride begins a 6-day mission aboard the Space Shuttle Challenger, becoming the first American woman to travel in space and the youngest American astronaut to circle the earth.

1985: Tania Aebi, 18, becomes the youngest person to sail around the world.

1995: Merrick Johnston, 12, becomes the youngest person to climb Mount McKinley.

1998: Women's ice hockey debuts at the Olympic Games in Nagano, Japan and the United States wins the gold.

PUT YOURSELF ON THE LIST OF STRONG GIRLS!
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How To Overcome Shyness

"I'm done talking about being shy," says Amy. "If you've never walked in my shoes—not being able to make eye contact or express yourself when you know exactly what you want to say, then you can't possibly understand how horrible shyness really is."

"It's like being nervous times a thousand," explains Julie. "You could be in the middle of a big group, but there's this barrier that separates you from everyone else. People think you're snobby or unfriendly or bored. What you really are is so lonely, so self-conscious, so embarrassed that you never want to leave your room."

"I love it when my older sister says, 'Just get over it,' "like I'm not trying to every single day," adds Jessica. "I guess I'm just not that interesting. Dumb things fall out of my mouth. I can't blame everyone for not wanting to spend time with me."

Shy people have a tough time of it, made tougher by the fact that many things they believe about their problem are not true. Hopefully a little more knowledge will prove helpful, and you can lean how to overcome shyness.

1. No one feels like this.
Shyness is one of the most common human problems. Just poll your close friends and family members, and we bet you'll discover that most of them think they're shy now, or have been shy in the past.

2. I'm always going to feel this way.
A critical feature of shyness is a slowness to warm up. Shy people just need some more time to adjust to stressful situations, including everyday conversations and social gatherings. The good news is that shy people eventually achieve everything that everyone else does; they have boyfriends, marry, have successful careers, have children. It just takes them a little longer, once they learn how to overcome shyness.

3. Everyone's looking at me.
The truth is shy people believe they are always being evaluated by others. Because they're so focused on their own shortcomings, they don't look around to notice most people are just like 
them doing the listening, not being the social butterflies.

4. I'll never have a boyfriend.
The No. 1 problem area for shy people is starting a relationship. Introductions and developing friendships—that's the hardest part. Once again, the good news is that as soon as you get into a relationship, shyness is no longer a barrier to becoming close and intimate.

5. It's my parent's fault.
Well, here you might be right, but not in the way you think. Although shyness is not caused by family experiences or overprotective or critical parents, it might be, in part, genetically determined, a part of your inheritance. That said, genes only set the stage, you get to write your life script and figure out how to overcome shyness. Seeing yourself as a victim of your genes might free blameless you from putting yourself down.

6. Thank God for the Internet.
The Internet would appear to be a shy person's best friend, limiting the allergic reaction they exhibit upon face-to-face contact. The problem is anonymity makes it easy to misrepresent yourself, and trust is the foundation of a social life. Too much time in front of the computer can be isolating—and won't help you figure out how to overcome shyness. And because you might feel more vulnerable to instant intimacy, shy people tend to reveal too much too fast.

7. How to overcome shyness
Shyness won't just go away, but it can be helped along. To figure out how to overcome shyness, you have to stop wallowing in your own insecurities and become more aware of the people around you. It is narcissistic to believe everyone is watching and judging you. Stop thinking about what you don't do well, whether it's telling a joke or making small talk. If you listen, you'll see no one else is spewing perfection. Arrive early to get comfortable in a new surrounding. Stop focusing on how nervous you feel and focus on the other person, making them comfortable, helping them tell their story and share their feelings with you. Prepare things to say in advance. Polish your opinions.

The task is not to change who you are, just some of the ways you think. There is nothing wrong with being shy. In fact, maybe this highly-pressured world of competition to be the most successful, most beautiful, most impressive, would be better off if more of us were a just a bit shyer.
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Girls' Make-Up Tips

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We're sure it's not news to you that these years are the most emotionally charged of your life. Your body is developing at a rapid pace, your skin changes from day to day, and your hormones are raging. Some days it seems that everything in your world is in total flux. And when zits, braces, and frizzy hair weigh in, some girls' make up tips are much needed.

It's not a lot to ask—being comfortable in your own skin—but today's magazine covers set the beauty bar so impossibly high, it's hard to appreciate what you see in the mirror. Even if your brain understands that only eight out of three billion women look like supermodels, and if Barbie were a real woman, she'd have to walk on all fours due to her proportions, it doesn't really help you feel any better. The experts say you won't love your outside until you love your inside, but how do you do that?

An old Saturday Night Live (SNL) skit had Billy Crystal saying, "It's better to look good than to feel good." We are convinced one follows the other. Have fun experimenting with girls' make-up tips using your face as a canvas to find what colors are most flattering, then crank it up a notch and see whose reflection appears. Get to know who you are and embrace what makes you one-of-a-kind you!

Here are a few girls' make-up tips to keep in mind as you develop your daily beauty regimen. Along with making and keeping good friends, exercising, eating properly and appreciating yourself for the extraordinary person you are becoming, they just might make looking in the mirror a more pleasurable experience.

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Soften your naturalness

If you want to try out something new, try this girls' make-up tip: a "makeunder." Experts believe that too often makeovers involve lots of makeup and a masking of who you really are. Play up your lips OR your eyes, not both. Loose powder adds a natural glow to your skin. Less is always more.

Spend your money wisely. Quality matters more when buying eye shadow, moisturizer, powder, and lipstick, and less when it comes to mascara, eye liner, cleansers and lip gloss. When you're contemplating trying out a new look, make sure you test the foundation, lipstick, blush and powder to make sure you choose the right color for your skin tone. When it comes to buying mascara, eyeliner, and lip gloss, it's not as important to try it out first.

People tend to judge others by the care they put into their hands and their feet. Nothing says well-groomed louder than nails that are clean and the same length. Use this girls' make-up tip: If you polish your nails, change or remove the color when it chips.

Get beyond the oppressive messages of the media and own your own look. Don't be afraid to experiment with girls' make-up tips. Style is a fabulous form of self expression. There are many different versions of beauty, from bombshell to fairy princess, Goth/vamp to girl next door. Create your own unique, individual look, one that feels comfortable in your skin.

Tuesday, April 16, 2013

1OO Ways To Love Your Wife (or Girlfriend)


1. Communicate with her; never close her out.

2. Regard her as important.

3. Do everything you can to understand her feelings.

4. Be interested in her friends.

5. Ask her opinion frequently.

6. Value what she says.

7. Let her feel your approval and affection.

8. Protect her on a daily basis.

9. Be gentle and tender with her.

10. Develop a sense of humor.

11. Avoid sudden major changes without discussion and without giving her time to adjust.

12. Learn to respond openly and verbally when she wants to communicate.

13. Comfort her when she is down emotionally. For instance put your arms around her and silently hold her for a few seconds without lectures or put-downs.

14. Be interested in what she feels is important in life.

15. Correct her gently and tenderly.

16. Allow her to teach you without putting up your defenses.

17. Make special time available to her and your children.

18. Be trustworthy.

19. Compliment her often.

20. Be creative when you express your love, either in words or actions.

21. Have specific family goals for each year.

22. Let her buy things she considers necessary.

23. Be forgiving when she offends you.

24. Show her you need her.

25. Accept her the way she is; discover her uniqueness as special.

26. Admit your mistakes; don’t be afraid to be humble.

27. Lead your family in their spiritual relationship with God.

28. Allow your wife to fail; discuss what went wrong, after you have comforted her.

29. Rub her feet or neck after a hard day.

30. Take time for the two of you to sit and talk calmly.

31. Go on romantic outings.

32. Write her a letter occasionally, telling her how much you love her.

33. Surprise her with a card or flowers.

34. Express how much you appreciate her.

35. Tell her how proud you are of her.

36. Give advice in loving way when she asks for it.

37. Defend her to others.

38. Prefer her over others.

39. Do not expect her to do activities beyond her emotional or physical capabilities.

40. Pray for her to enjoy God’s best in life.

41. Take time to notice what she has done for you and the family.

42. Brag about her to other people behind her back.

43. Share your thoughts and feelings with her.

44. Tell her about your job if she is interested.

45. Take time to see how she spends her day, at work or at home.

46. Learn to enjoy what she enjoys.

47. Take care of the kids before dinner.

48. Help straighten up the house before mealtime.

49. Let her take a bubble bath while you do the dishes.

50. Understand her physical limitations if you have several children.

51. Discipline the children in love, not anger.

52. Help her finish her goals-hobbies or education.

53. Treat her as if God had stamped on her forehead, “Handle With Care.”

54. Get rid of habits that annoy her.

55. Be gentle and thoughtful to her relatives.

56. Do not compare her relatives with yours in a negative way.

57. Thank her for things she has done without expecting anything in return.

58. Do not expect a band to play whenever you help with the housecleaning.

59. Make sure she understands everything you are planning to do.

60. Do little things for her-an unexpected kiss, coffee in bed.

61. Treat her as an intellectual equal.

62. Find out if she wants to be treated as physically weaker.

63. Discover her fears in life.

64. See what you can do to eliminate her fears.

65. Discover her sexual needs.

66. Ask if she wants to discuss how you can meet her sexual needs.

67. Find out what makes her insecure.

68. Plan your future together.

69. Do not quarrel over words, but try to find hidden meanings.

70. Practice common courtesies like holding the door for her, pouring her coffee.

71. Ask if you offend her sexually in any way.

72. Ask if she is jealous of anyone.

73. See if she is uncomfortable about the way the money is spent.

74. Take her on dates now and then.

75. Hold her hand in public.

76. Put your arm around her in front of friends.

77. Tell her you love her-often.

78. Remember anniversaries, birthdays, and other special occasions.

79. Learn to enjoy shopping.

80. Teach her to hunt and fish or whatever you enjoy doing.

81. Give her a special gift from time to time.

82. Share the responsibilities around the house.

83. Do not belittle her feminine characteristics.

84. Let her express herself freely, without fear of being called stupid or illogical.

85. Carefully choose your words, especially when angry.

86. Do not criticize her in front of others.

87. Do not let her see you become excited about the physical features of another woman if that bothers her.

88. Be sensitive to other people.

89. Let your family know you want to spend special time with them.

90. Fix dinner for her from time to time.

91. Be sympathetic when she is sick.

92. Call her when you are going to be late.

93. Do not disagree with her in front of the children.

94. Take her out to dinner and for weekend getaways.

95. Do the “little things” she needs from time to time.

96. Give her special time to be alone or with her friends.

97. Buy her what she considers and intimate gift.

98. Read a book she recommends to you.

99. Give her and engrave plaque assuring her of your lasting love.

100. Write her a poem about how special she is.