Sunday, November 30, 2014
VERSE OF THE DAY!
—2 Peter 3:10-11
Thoughts on Today's Verse...
Holiness is that forgotten character virtue that is the Christian's reflection of God, his or her holy and righteous Father. In a day when grace is so easily cheapened, when anything goes just as long as we want to be buddies with Jesus, Peter's words should shock us into reverence - the holy commitment to set our lives apart from the evil and satanic sludge that defiles our world and to offer our bodies, hearts, and minds to do his will and reflect his character.
My Prayer...
Holy and Righteous Father, teach me to do your will and reflect your character while offering your grace to others. May the movements of my heart, the thoughts of my mind, and the actions of my life be pleasing to you and reflect your holiness and grace. In Jesus' holy name I pray. Amen.
Song of Solomon 8
New Living Translation
Young Woman
8 Oh, I wish you were my brother,
who nursed at my mother’s breasts.
Then I could kiss you no matter who was watching,
and no one would criticize me.
2 I would bring you to my childhood home,
and there you would teach me.
I would give you spiced wine to drink,
my sweet pomegranate wine.
3 Your left arm would be under my head,
and your right arm would embrace me.
4 Promise me, O women of Jerusalem,
not to awaken love until the time is right.
Young Women of Jerusalem
5 Who is this sweeping in from the desert,
leaning on her lover?
Young Woman
I aroused you under the apple tree,
where your mother gave you birth,
where in great pain she delivered you.
6 Place me like a seal over your heart,
like a seal on your arm.
For love is as strong as death,
its jealousy as enduring as the grave.
Love flashes like fire,
the brightest kind of flame.
7 Many waters cannot quench love,
nor can rivers drown it.
If a man tried to buy love
with all his wealth,
his offer would be utterly scorned.
The Young Woman’s Brothers
8 We have a little sister
too young to have breasts.
What will we do for our sister
if someone asks to marry her?
9 If she is a virgin, like a wall,
we will protect her with a silver tower.
But if she is promiscuous, like a swinging door,
we will block her door with a cedar bar.
Young Woman
10 I was a virgin, like a wall;
now my breasts are like towers.
When my lover looks at me,
he is delighted with what he sees.
11 Solomon has a vineyard at Baal-hamon,
which he leases out to tenant farmers.
Each of them pays a thousand pieces of silver
for harvesting its fruit.
12 But my vineyard is mine to give,
and Solomon need not pay a thousand pieces of silver.
But I will give two hundred pieces
to those who care for its vines.
Young Man
13 O my darling, lingering in the gardens,
your companions are fortunate to hear your voice.
Let me hear it, too!
Young Woman
14 Come away, my love! Be like a gazelle
or a young stag on the mountains of spices.
Saturday, November 29, 2014
VERSE OF THE DAY!
—Psalm 136:1 and 26
Thoughts on Today's Verse...
Our thanks arises from the nature of God and his glory and goodness. The steadfast reason we give thanks is because God is good and his love is inexhaustible, beyond decay, and never ending.
My Prayer...
O great Lover of my soul, thank you for sending Jesus as the demonstration of your love. I love you Father. I love you for who you are and what you have done. I love you for what you have promised. I love you for the blessings you shower upon me. I love you for giving me hope. I love you because you first loved me. I love you because you are worthy of all love. But I confess that my love is not as strong as yours, so please, fill me with your love by the power of the Holy Spirit. In the name of Jesus, your Son and my Savior, I lift my heart to you. Amen.
Song of Solomon 7
New Living Translation
1 How beautiful are your sandaled feet,
O queenly maiden.
Your rounded thighs are like jewels,
the work of a skilled craftsman.
2 Your navel is perfectly formed
like a goblet filled with mixed wine.
Between your thighs lies a mound of wheat
bordered with lilies.
3 Your breasts are like two fawns,
twin fawns of a gazelle.
4 Your neck is as beautiful as an ivory tower.
Your eyes are like the sparkling pools in Heshbon
by the gate of Bath-rabbim.
Your nose is as fine as the tower of Lebanon
overlooking Damascus.
5 Your head is as majestic as Mount Carmel,
and the sheen of your hair radiates royalty.
The king is held captive by its tresses.
6 Oh, how beautiful you are!
How pleasing, my love, how full of delights!
7 You are slender like a palm tree,
and your breasts are like its clusters of fruit.
8 I said, “I will climb the palm tree
and take hold of its fruit.”
May your breasts be like grape clusters,
and the fragrance of your breath like apples.
9 May your kisses be as exciting as the best wine—
Young Woman
Yes, wine that goes down smoothly for my lover,
flowing gently over lips and teeth.
10 I am my lover’s,
and he claims me as his own.
11 Come, my love, let us go out to the fields
and spend the night among the wildflowers.
12 Let us get up early and go to the vineyards
to see if the grapevines have budded,
if the blossoms have opened,
and if the pomegranates have bloomed.
There I will give you my love.
13 There the mandrakes give off their fragrance,
and the finest fruits are at our door,
new delights as well as old,
which I have saved for you, my lover.
Friday, November 28, 2014
50 Things Every Girl Can Actually Be Thankful For On Thanksgiving
There’s a popular Thanksgiving tradition that takes place in many households where all your family members go around the table and says what they’re most thankful for.
There are the usual responses: “this family,” “the incredible food — thanks Cousin Emily!” “my good health,” “copious amounts of wine,” “the divorce…” You get the point.
But with all the crazy news that has been going on in the world to date, there’s plenty more to be grateful for than just some cranberry sauce and stuffing.
I mean, someone finally sent Anne Hathaway into outer space where she belongs! That is something to be extremely happy about!
Don’t be that person who holds everyone up with her stammering and hemming and hawing. We’re here to remind you of all the amazing things that humankind should be thankful for this year.
Because 2014 was surely a year of insane headlines (especially this summer!), we’re grateful we came out on the other side.
Here are all the things we’re genuinely thankful for in 2014. So when it comes time for your turn at the table, you’re welcome.
1. My nudes weren’t leaked.
2. I didn’t travel to West Africa.
3. ISIS is still in Syria and not Times Square.
4. I got 12 free drinks this year by swiping right.
5. Kim K didn’t actually break the Internet. Phew, or else work without Gchat would’ve been extremely difficult to get through.
6. Shonda Rhimes is still making #Scandal-ous shows, and giving me lady boners on cable TV.
7. My best friend still hasn’t gotten engaged yet. This one we’re extra grateful for, so we may even list it twice.
8. Driving to work instead of walking.
9. Our parents are still picking up our cell phone bills while strippers are picking up others…
10. Oreo churros. They’re a thing and, to be honest, we’re slightly more grateful for these than we are for the NYC Nutella bar.
11. Amanda Bynes has returned to us in the same state we left her: 100% certified crazy. Don’t go changing, Mandy.
12. I can put on jeans and a standard white tee and call it “normcore.”
13. Pumpkin spice has taken over the world. We’re nominating her to be the sixth member of the Spice Girls.
14. “Interstellar” finally sent Anne Hathaway into space where she belongs.
15. Twitter still allows female users to post topless photos even if Instagram doesn’t.
16. Sweatpants are making a luxury comeback, which is good because they’re all that fit me right now.
17. Your most recent period. Self-explanatory. Period.
18. Blake Lively’s pregnancy. Now she’s just like the rest of us fat people. Sort of. OK, not really, but we’re glad she knows what it’s like to at least feel bloated.
19. My sister isn’t the goddess Gigi Hadid. But now that I think about it… this means I don’t have her genetics, either.
20. Sriracha is still spicing up our lives and has yet to run out.
21. Rihanna is back on Instagram, fully-clothed not always included. The fashion world can resume once again.
22. “Gone Girl” lived up to the hype and even exceeded our expectations by flashing us a sneak-peek of Ben Affleck’s peen. Free full frontal in 2015!
23. Jay Z and Beyoncé are still together. Solange didn’t kill him first.
24. The latest must-have men’s accessories: beanies, beards and buns.
25. No one likes or listens to Justin Bieber anymore. We might actually have newfound hope for humanity.
26. Plus-size and average-size women are receiving more praise and positive recognition in the media.
27. Leggings are still in. Everyone, regardless of gender, is thankful for this, but Jen Selter’s butt is especially happy.
28. Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel are servicing mankind by making the most beautiful baby on the planet. “It’s not a bad thing.”
29. Men are putting their dicks in socks to raise awareness for cancer. But also, men are putting their dicks in socks.
30. LC got married, proving even basic people have hope for finding The One.
31. Last Sunday’s Chinese food binge did not go directly to my ass, but instead the toilet.
32. Taylor Swift got significant meme coverage, and was an even more-awkward looking teenager than you!
33. Instagram added more filtering capabilities, so now we can stare at our phones for even longer and be even more deceitful on social media.
34. Fall lasted all the way until mid-November. This has got to be some kind of record in the history of 2010-2014.
35. “Pitch Perfect” is coming out with a sequel, so we’ll have a new movie to compulsively watch on HBOGO (and sing along to…).
36. The world is still managing to surprise us: A woman requested a third tit, people are paying to cuddle with a stranger and Anne Hathaway magically reappeared back to earth from space.
37. The entire Internet signed an agreement to no longer write in list form.
38. We’re just kidding.
39. They haven’t made a third “Sex and the City” movie… yet.
40. Lindsay Lohan‘s OWN reality show. She got torn apart by Oprah… again.
41. George Clooney proved he wasn’t gay after all. We’re giving up our hopes of marrying him a second time.
42. The ALS Ice Bucket Challenge erected 115 million dollars and a lot of cold, wet nipples.
43. America didn’t embarrass us at The World Cup. In fact, we put our best foot forward.
44. Snapchat still allows for screenshots.
45. Kim and Kanye got married. If Kim can wear white then so can we.
46. LeBron returned to Cleveland. If he can go home, so can Joe.
47. The iPhone 6 came out, and now we all can have a bigger bulge in our jeans.
48. Netflix added enough new shows so you never have to leave your apartment this winter.
49. Chris Martin is eating carbs again.
50. Nicki Minaj put ass-play back on the menu. We know what’s for dinner.
VERSE OF THE DAY!
—1 Chronicles 16:8
Thoughts on Today's Verse...
Giving thanks is more than being thankful to God, it is letting others know of his gracious works so they too can come to know him as Father, Redeemer, and Victorious Lord. Then others can join their voices with our own in a chorus of thanksgiving from the hearts those God's love has redeemed.
My Prayer...
Holy God, Almighty King, bless all those who serve you in difficult places today. I especially am thankful for all the missionaries in other cultures sharing the grace of Jesus with people who need to know you as Abba Father. Empower their words, protect their lives and families, and bless their efforts with fruit. Please help me to understand that true thankfulness involves sharing your grace with others. In Jesus' name I pray. Amen.
Song of Solomon 6
New Living Translation
Young Women of Jerusalem
1 Where has your lover gone,
O woman of rare beauty?
Which way did he turn
so we can help you find him?
Young Woman
2 My lover has gone down to his garden,
to his spice beds,
to browse in the gardens
and gather the lilies.
3 I am my lover’s, and my lover is mine.
He browses among the lilies.
Young Man
4 You are beautiful, my darling,
like the lovely city of Tirzah.
Yes, as beautiful as Jerusalem,
as majestic as an army with billowing banners.
5 Turn your eyes away,
for they overpower me.
Your hair falls in waves,
like a flock of goats winding down the slopes of Gilead.
6 Your teeth are as white as sheep
that are freshly washed.
Your smile is flawless,
each tooth matched with its twin.
7 Your cheeks are like rosy pomegranates
behind your veil.
8 Even among sixty queens
and eighty concubines
and countless young women,
9 I would still choose my dove, my perfect one—
the favorite of her mother,
dearly loved by the one who bore her.
The young women see her and praise her;
even queens and royal concubines sing her praises:
10 “Who is this, arising like the dawn,
as fair as the moon,
as bright as the sun,
as majestic as an army with billowing banners?”
Young Woman
11 I went down to the grove of walnut trees
and out to the valley to see the new spring growth,
to see whether the grapevines had budded
or the pomegranates were in bloom.
12 Before I realized it,
my strong desires had taken me to the chariot of a noble man.
Young Women of Jerusalem
13 [c]Return, return to us, O maid of Shulam.
Come back, come back, that we may see you again.
Young Man
Why do you stare at this young woman of Shulam,
as she moves so gracefully between two lines of dancers?
Thursday, November 27, 2014
VERSE OF THE DAY!
—Colossians 3:16
Thoughts on Today's Verse...
We sing when we are happy. We sing when we are heartbroken. Today we sing out of gratitude. God is not only worthy of all of our praise, he is worthy of all of our thankfulness. But the basis of all our songs is Jesus, and the proclamation of the good news that brings life to us through him. As that message, that word of Christ fills our hearts, we are tuned to be thankful children of the Most High.
My Prayer...
I am so thankful today, Lord, for all the many blessings you have poured into my life. Your love, grace, mercy, and forgiveness give me hope for the future. Your gift of Jesus gives me life today and promises life tomorrow. The incredible physical blessings, as well as the blessings of family and friends are wonderful. But the greatest of all blessings is the assurance that I will one day see you face to face and share your glory presence forever. In Jesus' name I thank and praise you. Amen.
Song of Solomon 5
New Living Translation
Young Man
1 I have entered my garden, my treasure, my bride!
I gather myrrh with my spices
and eat honeycomb with my honey.
I drink wine with my milk.
Young Women of Jerusalem
Oh, lover and beloved, eat and drink!
Yes, drink deeply of your love!
Young Woman
2 I slept, but my heart was awake,
when I heard my lover knocking and calling:
“Open to me, my treasure, my darling,
my dove, my perfect one.
My head is drenched with dew,
my hair with the dampness of the night.”
3 But I responded,
“I have taken off my robe.
Should I get dressed again?
I have washed my feet.
Should I get them soiled?”
4 My lover tried to unlatch the door,
and my heart thrilled within me.
5 I jumped up to open the door for my love,
and my hands dripped with perfume.
My fingers dripped with lovely myrrh
as I pulled back the bolt.
6 I opened to my lover,
but he was gone!
My heart sank.
I searched for him
but could not find him anywhere.
I called to him,
but there was no reply.
7 The night watchmen found me
as they made their rounds.
They beat and bruised me
and stripped off my veil,
those watchmen on the walls.
8 Make this promise, O women of Jerusalem—
If you find my lover,
tell him I am weak with love.
Young Women of Jerusalem
9 Why is your lover better than all others,
O woman of rare beauty?
What makes your lover so special
that we must promise this?
Young Woman
10 My lover is dark and dazzling,
better than ten thousand others!
11 His head is finest gold,
his wavy hair is black as a raven.
12 His eyes sparkle like doves
beside springs of water;
they are set like jewels
washed in milk.
13 His cheeks are like gardens of spices
giving off fragrance.
His lips are like lilies,
perfumed with myrrh.
14 His arms are like rounded bars of gold,
set with beryl.
His body is like bright ivory,
glowing with lapis lazuli.
15 His legs are like marble pillars
set in sockets of finest gold.
His posture is stately,
like the noble cedars of Lebanon.
16 His mouth is sweetness itself;
he is desirable in every way.
Such, O women of Jerusalem,
is my lover, my friend.
Wednesday, November 26, 2014
Idea Vs. Reality: How To Tell If You’re Really In Love
We have all been in love with what could be instead of what exists right in front of us. It’s a hard concept for some of us to realize and sometimes, it is even tougher to let go of that concept because it becomes so real in our lives.
In my last relationship, I never realized the type of love my boyfriend and I really had. I thought we had the passion — that connection everyone dreams to have —, but looking back, I realize that false image was holding me onto a love that was not fulfilling my needs. I was in love with what could be instead of what really was.
I loved the idea of what we could be because my boyfriend sometimes revealed small glimpses of an amazing potential relationship, even though about 80 percent of the time, it was not a positive experience. I fell in love with the idea of those glimpses. I imagined that if he just did this or if he just changed that, everything would align and be perfect.
Two years later, I found myself still in love with those ideas, with more and more tears because it never became what could have been.
I told my friends about the simple things he did to show he cared. Since they were rare, when they happened, I wanted to prove that I had a great guy, regardless of what they thought. In reality, those little things should have happened regardless; they should not have been rare.
In a way, I was trying to prove that my friends were wrong about my boyfriend and simultaneously convince myself that I was right about him, too. I was trying to justify staying with a guy I loved, despite the fact that he only showed that he loved me part-time.
If you ever find yourself justifying your man’s actions or not wanting to share the truth about things he has said or done, chances are, you are in love with his could-bes. If you cling to every good thing he does until he does something else nice or brag-worthy, chances are you are in love with the “could be.”
I think that at least at one point in our lives, we all find a connection with someone who makes us feel something special, so we stay. But, we stay for all the wrong reasons and sometimes, it is only because of what could have been.
When we love someone, it is so easy for us to ignore what is missing and hold on to what is there or what could be there. It is our nature to want to see the best in people, and being in a relationship is no different. In fact, relationships may make that natural response even worse.
The love of what could have been is something that blindsides so many of us. You will not understand this concept until you finally realize one day that maybe, what you have been dealing with is just not for you anymore.
This is hard to realize because in the presence of intermittent “good stuff,” it can feel like a premature failure. You truly believe that if you hang on a little longer, all those could-bes will become real life. Then, another year passes by without any change. When do you decide to stop? When does reality finally outweigh the could-bes?
I, for one, took a long time to realize the difference. However, when I overcame my fear, I was able to leave a situation that never satisfied my needs or what I really from a relationship.
-ELITE DAILY
In my last relationship, I never realized the type of love my boyfriend and I really had. I thought we had the passion — that connection everyone dreams to have —, but looking back, I realize that false image was holding me onto a love that was not fulfilling my needs. I was in love with what could be instead of what really was.
I loved the idea of what we could be because my boyfriend sometimes revealed small glimpses of an amazing potential relationship, even though about 80 percent of the time, it was not a positive experience. I fell in love with the idea of those glimpses. I imagined that if he just did this or if he just changed that, everything would align and be perfect.
Two years later, I found myself still in love with those ideas, with more and more tears because it never became what could have been.
I told my friends about the simple things he did to show he cared. Since they were rare, when they happened, I wanted to prove that I had a great guy, regardless of what they thought. In reality, those little things should have happened regardless; they should not have been rare.
In a way, I was trying to prove that my friends were wrong about my boyfriend and simultaneously convince myself that I was right about him, too. I was trying to justify staying with a guy I loved, despite the fact that he only showed that he loved me part-time.
If you ever find yourself justifying your man’s actions or not wanting to share the truth about things he has said or done, chances are, you are in love with his could-bes. If you cling to every good thing he does until he does something else nice or brag-worthy, chances are you are in love with the “could be.”
I think that at least at one point in our lives, we all find a connection with someone who makes us feel something special, so we stay. But, we stay for all the wrong reasons and sometimes, it is only because of what could have been.
When we love someone, it is so easy for us to ignore what is missing and hold on to what is there or what could be there. It is our nature to want to see the best in people, and being in a relationship is no different. In fact, relationships may make that natural response even worse.
The love of what could have been is something that blindsides so many of us. You will not understand this concept until you finally realize one day that maybe, what you have been dealing with is just not for you anymore.
This is hard to realize because in the presence of intermittent “good stuff,” it can feel like a premature failure. You truly believe that if you hang on a little longer, all those could-bes will become real life. Then, another year passes by without any change. When do you decide to stop? When does reality finally outweigh the could-bes?
I, for one, took a long time to realize the difference. However, when I overcame my fear, I was able to leave a situation that never satisfied my needs or what I really from a relationship.
-ELITE DAILY
VERSE OF THE DAY!
—Hebrews 12:28
Thoughts on Today's Verse...
We are receiving the triumphant and glorious victory of God in his Kingdom. We will join with the angels and the saints of old and live with the Father forever in victorious and never ending joy. But this Kingdom doesn't just begin when Jesus returns. This Kingdom has started now in his Church, his people, those in whom God's will is cherished and obeyed. So our worship should be filled with awe that the holy God of Israel is also the lowly God in Jesus who has redeemed us and made us to be a holy people unto himself. What else can we do but worship with heartfelt thanksgiving and wonder struck awe.
My Prayer...
Holy and Righteous Father, all things are yours. Thank you for sharing your blessings, your promises, your hope, and your victory with us in Jesus. Please help me to live a more thankful, victorious life before my unbelieving friends and as an example to my children so they may come to share your glorious Kingdom and ultimate victory. In Jesus' mighty name I pray. Amen.
Song of Solomon 4
New Living Translation
Young Man
1 You are beautiful, my darling,
beautiful beyond words.
Your eyes are like doves
behind your veil.
Your hair falls in waves,
like a flock of goats winding down the slopes of Gilead.
2 Your teeth are as white as sheep,
recently shorn and freshly washed.
Your smile is flawless,
each tooth matched with its twin.
3 Your lips are like scarlet ribbon;
your mouth is inviting.
Your cheeks are like rosy pomegranates
behind your veil.
4 Your neck is as beautiful as the tower of David,
jeweled with the shields of a thousand heroes.
5 Your breasts are like two fawns,
twin fawns of a gazelle grazing among the lilies.
6 Before the dawn breezes blow
and the night shadows flee,
I will hurry to the mountain of myrrh
and to the hill of frankincense.
7 You are altogether beautiful, my darling,
beautiful in every way.
8 Come with me from Lebanon, my bride,
come with me from Lebanon.
Come down from Mount Amana,
from the peaks of Senir and Hermon,
where the lions have their dens
and leopards live among the hills.
9 You have captured my heart,
my treasure, my bride.
You hold it hostage with one glance of your eyes,
with a single jewel of your necklace.
10 Your love delights me,
my treasure, my bride.
Your love is better than wine,
your perfume more fragrant than spices.
11 Your lips are as sweet as nectar, my bride.
Honey and milk are under your tongue.
Your clothes are scented
like the cedars of Lebanon.
12 You are my private garden, my treasure, my bride,
a secluded spring, a hidden fountain.
13 Your thighs shelter a paradise of pomegranates
with rare spices—
henna with nard,
14 nard and saffron,
fragrant calamus and cinnamon,
with all the trees of frankincense, myrrh, and aloes,
and every other lovely spice.
15 You are a garden fountain,
a well of fresh water
streaming down from Lebanon’s mountains.
Young Woman
16 Awake, north wind!
Rise up, south wind!
Blow on my garden
and spread its fragrance all around.
Come into your garden, my love;
taste its finest fruits.
Tuesday, November 25, 2014
VERSE OF THE DAY!
—Colossians 3:17
Thoughts on Today's Verse...
Everything! All! No matter what we say, no matter what we do, it is to be offered as a gift of thanks to God with Jesus' name, power, and honor attached! This makes all of life our worship and thanksgiving to God. There's no such thing as going to worship, if we live, if we talk, if we act it's worship and should always involve thanksgiving. So how has your worship been lately?
My Prayer...
Almighty and Most Holy God, I want all of my life to be lived out to your glory, a living testament of thanks to you for the grace you have given me in Jesus. While I do not always do this as well as I would like, I lovingly offer you my words, my actions, my heart and my mind to bring you glory by doing your will. Please, use your Spirit to remove the areas of self-deception from my life so that weakness and hypocrisy will not rob my discipleship of its intended worship of your majesty. In the name of Jesus, my gracious Lord, I pray. Amen.
Song of Solomon 3
New Living Translation
Young Woman
1 One night as I lay in bed, I yearned for my lover.
I yearned for him, but he did not come.
2 So I said to myself, “I will get up and roam the city,
searching in all its streets and squares.
I will search for the one I love.”
So I searched everywhere but did not find him.
3 The watchmen stopped me as they made their rounds,
and I asked, “Have you seen the one I love?”
4 Then scarcely had I left them
when I found my love!
I caught and held him tightly,
then I brought him to my mother’s house,
into my mother’s bed, where I had been conceived.
5 Promise me, O women of Jerusalem,
by the gazelles and wild deer,
not to awaken love until the time is right.
Young Women of Jerusalem
6 Who is this sweeping in from the wilderness
like a cloud of smoke?
Who is it, fragrant with myrrh and frankincense
and every kind of spice?
7 Look, it is Solomon’s carriage,
surrounded by sixty heroic men,
the best of Israel’s soldiers.
8 They are all skilled swordsmen,
experienced warriors.
Each wears a sword on his thigh,
ready to defend the king against an attack in the night.
9 King Solomon’s carriage is built
of wood imported from Lebanon.
10 Its posts are silver,
its canopy gold;
its cushions are purple.
It was decorated with love
by the young women of Jerusalem.
Young Woman
11 Come out to see King Solomon,
young women of Jerusalem.
He wears the crown his mother gave him on his wedding day,
his most joyous day.
Monday, November 24, 2014
Here are 25 reasons why you shouldn’t settle on just any guy before turning 25:
25. Focus on your education
Don’t get so hung up on a guy that you neglect your studies. There is nothing you will regret more than not putting your best foot forward in school because you sacrificed your time for a guy (who you were probably totally in love with at that point in time).
I had one sucky semester my sophomore year of college because I was too busy devoting my time to a guy with whom I was enamored. Clearly, he is no longer in my life, but the distraction still cost me an “A” in accounting.
24. The first guy who says, “I love you” usually doesn’t
Let’s get real; I’m not saying that there aren’t genuine guys out there who actually mean what they say, but the ones who say the “right” things ruin it for everyone else.
In college, “I love you” is a really nice way of saying, “I want to get in your pants, so I’m saying exactly what you want to hear.” Learn how to tell the difference.
23. Lay the foundation for your career
Work part-time jobs, intern and build connections that will lead to bolstering your résumé. Make sure that you have developed into a whirlwind of strength that can devour a conference room, strike a deal or teach a class better than anybody else.
22. Achieve a level of independence
As Ne-Yo so eloquently stated, “There’s somethin’ oh so sexy about kinda woman that don’t even need my help, she said she got it, she got it, no doubt.”
Confidence and independence is directly proportional to sexiness. These are assets that will attract quality guys — the kind that won’t be intimidated or threatened by you, that is.
21. Learn to stop playing games
Games are meant to be played on the playground and are not valuable assets for emotional and physical growth with another person. Don’t get hung up on the “he ignored me for two days, I’ll ignore him for three and show him who’s better at this” type scenarios.
It’s both unhealthy and immature. Someone who’s worthy of your time and attention will not do this (and neither should you).
20. Experiment
A close friend once told me, “You need to go out there and date someone completely wrong for you in order to realize who the right ones are.” Though I didn’t necessarily agree with that philosophy, it’s exactly what I wound up doing.
In fact, we couldn’t have been less compatible if I had tried. Though it wasn’t the best ever situation, it was probably one of the most important life lessons that I’ve learned so far.
It showed me that my pickiness and discriminating nature was necessary [for me] in terms of dating. Experiment with people and situations and figure out what’s important to you.
19. Your frontal cortex isn’t fully developed
Your frontal cortex, which is the part of the brain that is directly related to judgment calls and decision-making, does not reach full development until about age 25.
Think about it: a decision that you make at 23 could be radically different two years down the line, once your brain reaches that full capacity of maturity.
18. Kiss a lot of frogs
Again, find out what intrigues you — not only emotionally, but physically, as well. Learn about yourself and what piques your interests behind closed doors.
17. Learn that you can’t change people
Get over the notion that you can change a guy. Maybe you can change his style or his choice of restaurants, but deep down, you cannot change who people inherently at their cores.
It is also unfair for you to want to tear down a person to suit your own needs. If people are set in their ways, they most likely will not change due simply to your request.
16. Learn to be you, wholly and unapologetically
I make terrible, corny jokes. I love to sing, but my voice could crack glass. I always eat quesadillas with a fork and knife. I cry while watching Hallmark Christmas movies. It may take a while, but learn to love every ounce of yourself, including all of your quirks and flaws.
You can only find your true counterpart or soulmate once you accept who you are and trust that someone will appreciate your personality and soul.
15. Do things with your girls
The worst thing you could do is look back on your teens or early 20s and not have great memories with your best friends. Don’t budget all of your time for a guy without equally balancing out that with time with your besties.
These people are the ones who will always support you, laugh with you until you cry and dry your tears during hard times. They are the ones with whom you need to make beautiful memories.
14. Work on yourself
Get to a point in life where you are satisfied with what you’ve accomplished. Become a marathon runner, read all of “the classics” and learn a second language. Do something of which you can be proud and devote your time to at a pivotal point in your life.
13. Realize that “once a cheater” means “always a cheater”
Don’t think that even though your “dream man” cheated on his girlfriend with you, he will leave her for you. As amazing as you may be, and as wonderfully as he may treat you, he can never be fully trusted.
Big shout out to the first guy I dated during college for teaching me this important lesson: There are plenty of other fish in the sea.
12. Find someone who is your best friend
I’ve dated plenty of guys to whom I was both attracted and with whom I got along. This didn’t necessarily mean that I considered them people to whom I could tell absolutely everything and confide in completely, though.
Look for someone with whom you can share all of life’s daily, silly moments and tear down the dance floor at the local bar. Look for someone with whom you can speak intellectually but also be completely stupid.
11. Listen to your gut
You can take advice from family, friends and other respected individuals, but nobody knows you better than you know yourself. Listen to the gut feeling you get — it may tell you that he’s “the one” or it may tell you to run like hell.
Either way, always trust yourself because you’re usually right.
10. Wait for guys to grow up
Biologically speaking, males are about five to seven years behind [maturity-wise] to females.
I’m not saying that you need to date someone older than you to balance that out, but finding someone who’s mature (in terms of personality, financials, career, etc.) is worth waiting for.
9. Demand respect
Don’t settle for a guy who treats you with mediocrity. You need to command respect because you deserve it.
If this precedent is not set up front, you will wind up being a doormat. Be strong and learn that respect is crucial to any healthy relationship.
8. Figure out your future
Do you want to buy a house in the suburbs prior to getting engaged? Have four kids? Decide exactly what you want before you fully commit to someone.
You can always change your mind, but it’s important to find someone who shares your aspirations.
7. Financial independence
Invest in stocks and money markets. Place your money in savings accounts and CDs. See if your company has a 401(k), and invest funds there, too.
Obtain your own financial security before settling down with someone. In addition, it doesn’t hurt to figure out if your significant other is savvy when it comes to saving vs. spending.
6. Learn to cook
One of my grandmothers always asks me, “When you get married, will you know how to cook for your husband?”
I always respond with, “I will be able to, and he should be able to do the same for me.” Become comfortable in the kitchen so that you will be able to contribute to this facet of life. Plus, good food is usually the way to a man’s heart.
5. Value time with your family
Family is forever, but some members won’t be around forever. In your more impressionable years, it’s key to spend time with the ones you love.
They will help guide you throughout all walks of life and provide you with a level of comfort that is hard to come by in any other way, shape or form.
4. Believe in “what’s meant to be, will be”
This is probably the hardest philosophy to truly grasp. Know that everything happens for a reason and everything you experience in life up until this point is what made you, you.
Every little experience, no matter how insignificant, has shaped you into the person you are meant to become, and the person with whom someone else will fall in love.
3. Call your own shots
This is a privilege, so make sure you are able to do it. Once you’re in a serious relationship, engaged and married, you must make dual decisions for the rest your life.
Your single days are meant for you to do whatever you want. Have fun doing that while you can.
2. Wait for “that feeling”
I believe in the feeling you get when you know that something or someone is different; that he or she is meant to be a part of your life and will remain there.
It’s at that point that you can detect an inherent connection with another human being. When the hair on your arms stands up, you get a shiver down your spine and the butterflies in your stomach, you know that something even greater than your mind has detected someone special.
1. Reach a level of self-actualization
According to Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, this is the pinnacle that a human being must reach in life. It’s a point where you are wholly and completely aware of yourself and all that you are.
It is at this point that you have entered unconditional love with yourself and can then shed and share that love with a man who is worthy of you.
25. Focus on your education
Don’t get so hung up on a guy that you neglect your studies. There is nothing you will regret more than not putting your best foot forward in school because you sacrificed your time for a guy (who you were probably totally in love with at that point in time).
I had one sucky semester my sophomore year of college because I was too busy devoting my time to a guy with whom I was enamored. Clearly, he is no longer in my life, but the distraction still cost me an “A” in accounting.
24. The first guy who says, “I love you” usually doesn’t
Let’s get real; I’m not saying that there aren’t genuine guys out there who actually mean what they say, but the ones who say the “right” things ruin it for everyone else.
In college, “I love you” is a really nice way of saying, “I want to get in your pants, so I’m saying exactly what you want to hear.” Learn how to tell the difference.
23. Lay the foundation for your career
Work part-time jobs, intern and build connections that will lead to bolstering your résumé. Make sure that you have developed into a whirlwind of strength that can devour a conference room, strike a deal or teach a class better than anybody else.
22. Achieve a level of independence
As Ne-Yo so eloquently stated, “There’s somethin’ oh so sexy about kinda woman that don’t even need my help, she said she got it, she got it, no doubt.”
Confidence and independence is directly proportional to sexiness. These are assets that will attract quality guys — the kind that won’t be intimidated or threatened by you, that is.
21. Learn to stop playing games
Games are meant to be played on the playground and are not valuable assets for emotional and physical growth with another person. Don’t get hung up on the “he ignored me for two days, I’ll ignore him for three and show him who’s better at this” type scenarios.
It’s both unhealthy and immature. Someone who’s worthy of your time and attention will not do this (and neither should you).
20. Experiment
A close friend once told me, “You need to go out there and date someone completely wrong for you in order to realize who the right ones are.” Though I didn’t necessarily agree with that philosophy, it’s exactly what I wound up doing.
In fact, we couldn’t have been less compatible if I had tried. Though it wasn’t the best ever situation, it was probably one of the most important life lessons that I’ve learned so far.
It showed me that my pickiness and discriminating nature was necessary [for me] in terms of dating. Experiment with people and situations and figure out what’s important to you.
19. Your frontal cortex isn’t fully developed
Your frontal cortex, which is the part of the brain that is directly related to judgment calls and decision-making, does not reach full development until about age 25.
Think about it: a decision that you make at 23 could be radically different two years down the line, once your brain reaches that full capacity of maturity.
18. Kiss a lot of frogs
Again, find out what intrigues you — not only emotionally, but physically, as well. Learn about yourself and what piques your interests behind closed doors.
17. Learn that you can’t change people
Get over the notion that you can change a guy. Maybe you can change his style or his choice of restaurants, but deep down, you cannot change who people inherently at their cores.
It is also unfair for you to want to tear down a person to suit your own needs. If people are set in their ways, they most likely will not change due simply to your request.
16. Learn to be you, wholly and unapologetically
I make terrible, corny jokes. I love to sing, but my voice could crack glass. I always eat quesadillas with a fork and knife. I cry while watching Hallmark Christmas movies. It may take a while, but learn to love every ounce of yourself, including all of your quirks and flaws.
You can only find your true counterpart or soulmate once you accept who you are and trust that someone will appreciate your personality and soul.
15. Do things with your girls
The worst thing you could do is look back on your teens or early 20s and not have great memories with your best friends. Don’t budget all of your time for a guy without equally balancing out that with time with your besties.
These people are the ones who will always support you, laugh with you until you cry and dry your tears during hard times. They are the ones with whom you need to make beautiful memories.
14. Work on yourself
Get to a point in life where you are satisfied with what you’ve accomplished. Become a marathon runner, read all of “the classics” and learn a second language. Do something of which you can be proud and devote your time to at a pivotal point in your life.
13. Realize that “once a cheater” means “always a cheater”
Don’t think that even though your “dream man” cheated on his girlfriend with you, he will leave her for you. As amazing as you may be, and as wonderfully as he may treat you, he can never be fully trusted.
Big shout out to the first guy I dated during college for teaching me this important lesson: There are plenty of other fish in the sea.
12. Find someone who is your best friend
I’ve dated plenty of guys to whom I was both attracted and with whom I got along. This didn’t necessarily mean that I considered them people to whom I could tell absolutely everything and confide in completely, though.
Look for someone with whom you can share all of life’s daily, silly moments and tear down the dance floor at the local bar. Look for someone with whom you can speak intellectually but also be completely stupid.
11. Listen to your gut
You can take advice from family, friends and other respected individuals, but nobody knows you better than you know yourself. Listen to the gut feeling you get — it may tell you that he’s “the one” or it may tell you to run like hell.
Either way, always trust yourself because you’re usually right.
10. Wait for guys to grow up
Biologically speaking, males are about five to seven years behind [maturity-wise] to females.
I’m not saying that you need to date someone older than you to balance that out, but finding someone who’s mature (in terms of personality, financials, career, etc.) is worth waiting for.
9. Demand respect
Don’t settle for a guy who treats you with mediocrity. You need to command respect because you deserve it.
If this precedent is not set up front, you will wind up being a doormat. Be strong and learn that respect is crucial to any healthy relationship.
8. Figure out your future
Do you want to buy a house in the suburbs prior to getting engaged? Have four kids? Decide exactly what you want before you fully commit to someone.
You can always change your mind, but it’s important to find someone who shares your aspirations.
7. Financial independence
Invest in stocks and money markets. Place your money in savings accounts and CDs. See if your company has a 401(k), and invest funds there, too.
Obtain your own financial security before settling down with someone. In addition, it doesn’t hurt to figure out if your significant other is savvy when it comes to saving vs. spending.
6. Learn to cook
One of my grandmothers always asks me, “When you get married, will you know how to cook for your husband?”
I always respond with, “I will be able to, and he should be able to do the same for me.” Become comfortable in the kitchen so that you will be able to contribute to this facet of life. Plus, good food is usually the way to a man’s heart.
5. Value time with your family
Family is forever, but some members won’t be around forever. In your more impressionable years, it’s key to spend time with the ones you love.
They will help guide you throughout all walks of life and provide you with a level of comfort that is hard to come by in any other way, shape or form.
4. Believe in “what’s meant to be, will be”
This is probably the hardest philosophy to truly grasp. Know that everything happens for a reason and everything you experience in life up until this point is what made you, you.
Every little experience, no matter how insignificant, has shaped you into the person you are meant to become, and the person with whom someone else will fall in love.
3. Call your own shots
This is a privilege, so make sure you are able to do it. Once you’re in a serious relationship, engaged and married, you must make dual decisions for the rest your life.
Your single days are meant for you to do whatever you want. Have fun doing that while you can.
2. Wait for “that feeling”
I believe in the feeling you get when you know that something or someone is different; that he or she is meant to be a part of your life and will remain there.
It’s at that point that you can detect an inherent connection with another human being. When the hair on your arms stands up, you get a shiver down your spine and the butterflies in your stomach, you know that something even greater than your mind has detected someone special.
1. Reach a level of self-actualization
According to Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, this is the pinnacle that a human being must reach in life. It’s a point where you are wholly and completely aware of yourself and all that you are.
It is at this point that you have entered unconditional love with yourself and can then shed and share that love with a man who is worthy of you.
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