Rejection Protection
You try out for the lead in the school play, sure you're the best one for the part...still you lose out to some little freshman you never heard of. Your friends all get together on Friday night to celebrate the end of finals...and no one calls you. The boy you have your eye on, the cute one you're going to ask to the school dance...asks someone else. Your favorite teacher hands back the paper you worked so hard on...and says he's disappointed with your effort. It's enough to make a girl cry. And cry.Sometimes it seems as if high school is just a series of dreams turning into nightmares, desires drowning in depression. The list of people who have the power to hurt your feelings can seem endless, and getting over the loss and rejection can sometimes feel impossible. The bad news is that there's no way to avoid these upsetting situations. Just listen to the radio and count the number of songs that deal with heartbreak. The good news is that you can control the way you deal with disappointment.
What you can do
Acknowledge that you are feeling lousy and allow yourself to cry and grieve. Be patient, you need time to heal.
Just make sure you don't dwell and wallow and sink into sadness. Don't assume you have to deal with this alone by underestimating the power of your support system. Telling a friend, family member, teacher or someone you trust about the situation can give you perspective and remind you of your strengths and talents and what makes you unique.
Keep in mind that it's not the end of the world, even if it feels like it to you. And this heaviness is temporary.
Do something positive for yourself. Ride a bike. Get into a good book. Buy a magazine. Rent a favorite movie. Pump up the volume on your stereo. Redecorate your room. It doesn't mean you won't think about what happened, but you'll be focused on other things.
Help someone else in worse shape. It's a great way of revving up your self-esteem.
Resist vengeful feelings. No matter how tempting it might be to get back at the perpetrator of your hurt, these actions tend to boomerang and end up hurting you even more. Likewise with begging to make the other person feel guilty, or blaming yourself and wasting time with unnecessary "if onlys."
If the same person hurts you again and again, it might be time to consider breaking away from the relationship.
Take good care of yourself. Feeling crappy takes its toll. Don't let the rest of your body suffer too. Get lots of sleep, eat healthy and exercise regularly. If you're sick of this message, get used to it. It's part of every list of advice, including the one in this month's Modern Maturity!
The things that won't helpgetting angry, trying to hurt yourself, drinking, taking drugs, staying under the covers...are fodder for movies of the week. But if the sadness persists, if your heart is really broken, if you're not feeling better after a few weeks, it might be a good idea to talk with a psychologist or other mental health professional.
It's a guarantee that any biography or memoir you pick up will have its share of setbacks and disappointments. What distinguishes a person is not that he's been faced with these challenges but how he handles them. Moving on after a hurt takes courage. But not more than you have.
Info from BeingGirl.com
