HOW TO GET A FRIEND BACK
Sometimes when a friendship begins to feel different, you assume it’s because your friend’s personality has changed. More often than not, there is nothing wrong with your friend … or you … the problem lies in the friendship. The fact that you both are always evolving can be hard to accept. When forced to deal with the uncomfortably changing dynamics of a friendship, girls often worry that a discussion is going to lead to a confrontation… and we’ll do anything to avoid one of those. You owe it to both of you, however, to try to save what’s bonded you so strongly. You have to overcome the fear of sharing your concerns just because she’s not going to like to hear them.
To get back to the kind of closeness you once felt, all you have to do is what you always did best … talk. Face to face. Meaningful exchanges are notoriously difficult when you text, mail, IM, or connect through MySpace, Facebook, or Twitter. You can’t feel the empathy you’re going to need by connecting technologically. Our advice is to wait until you can share your concerns in a calm reasonable way, a time when you are both alone and relaxed. Then ease into the conversation by asking how she’s been or what’s been on her mind. Maybe she’s been upset by something you are unaware of. If so, try to understand what she’s been going through.
Explain without an icy (or hot) tone in your voice that you’ve been concerned lately about the state of your friendship. If there was something she did or said that upset you, tell her. If she’s surprised, let her know you didn’t think she would deliberately hurt your feelings. Then let her talk—without rushing or interrupting—about how she feels about the two of you.
Listen carefully for two emotions behind her words: regret and respect. If you hear them, accept her point of view. If you don’t, ask if she understands why you’re upset. She might not, and you’ll have to explain it again. If she still doesn’t, then it’s compromise time. You might have to agree to disagree. Although lots of things can lead to disagreements and disputes, they rarely have the power to destroy a friendship. Maybe a temporary break will allow you both to cool off and put things in perspective. There’s nothing better than spending time with a new bunch of friends you don’t like nearly as well to help you appreciate your friend’s many virtues!
Info from BeingGirl.com
