Sunshine Online (:

Sunday, January 15, 2012

Don’t just blurt out your feelings.
Think about when and how you want to let him know how you feel. Usually, it’s much better to show a guy friend how you feel, by flirting and being sweet to him, than to tell him in words.

Find opportunities to do things you enjoy together. Since you’re already friends, you have some idea of what activities and events he is interested in. Sports (playing or watching), movies, video games, cooking, cards, photography, shopping - whatever floats your boat. Find ways to do things that you both like doing, together!

Show him you’re thinking about him on special occasions - and show him you remember what occasions are special to him. Send him a sweet e-card on his birthday. Buy him a chocolate heart when his team wins a big game. Thoughtful little notes and messages can show him a more romantic side of you, and get him thinking about you a little differently.

Give him a hint. When you and your crush/friend have five minutes alone, tell him you had a dream that you two were boyfriend and girlfriend. Say that the dream was really happy and felt so natural... and see what he says. If his reaction is negative (he says "as if" or "that's sick!"), then you know to back off. Save your pride - just laugh and say something like "I know, it was the stupidest dream!" But if he blushes, wants to hear more about the dream, laughs nervously or seems flattered by what you said, it's a sign he is open to the idea of dating you. In that case, say to him "maybe we should go on a date and see if I'm psychic or something." Hopefully, he'll say "great idea."

Check your local newspaper or magazines for upcoming events you can attend together. Look for something he’ll be interested in - maybe a concert, a local fair, a book reading by an author he likes, and so on. Tell him you saw that (whatever the event is) is happening on a certain day and you thought he might want to go. Would he like to go with you? The trick is to make it sound like you're going to go anyway. This takes the pressure off of both of you to make it "a real date."

Take a chance on love. One of the biggest fears for many girls in asking out a friend is "ruining the relationship." Get over it. If he says no, do you really believe he won't be your friend anymore? If he’s your real friend, it might be weird if he says no, but he’ll most likely be flattered and get over the awkwardness. Besides if you never ask, you might never know if he felt the same but was too shy to say it! You should ask yourself honestly if you two would probably be better staying friends, or if your feelings are growing stronger with love and can’t be ignored. If you’re crushing hard enough, it’s worth the risk. Being casual about asking him out can help to avoid strange feelings later.

If he backs off and acts awkward after you ask him out, give him time to get over it. Distract yourself with other friends, and pick up your friendship again when he seems ready.

Don't feel bad or think you were stupid to ask him if he ends up saying no. You've been really gutsy to try it, which is quite cool. Plus you have let him know how you feel about him, honestly and openly, and that is never a bad thing. Now that he knows you like him, he’ll be thinking about you differently. Sometimes it takes some time for that to sink in... he could end up turning around and asking you out when he feels more ready!

Never, ever ask someone out more than twice if they say no. That will just makes your friend feel uncomfortable, and he’ll feel like you’re not listening to him. This can make it hard to go back to normal in the friendship. Don’t tell everyone you’re going to ask him out. For one thing, if he says no, you have all those people to tell and that would be totally embarrassing. For another thing, you don’t want him to find out that everyone knew how you felt about him before he knew, because that cheapens the emotion. Tell your best friend, but until you know his answer, keep this situation pretty private.