MOVING OUT FOR THE FIRST TIME
Moving is exciting and overwhelming all rolled into one. Whether you’re moving to become more independent or leaving to study or work or share a place with a few friends, the opportunity to make a fresh start is irresistible. But like all major changes in life, there are positive and negatives involved. Weirdly, many positives and negatives can be the same depending on the way you view the situation, the reasons behind the move and your support system.
Before you check out the neighborhoods and figure out what you can afford, peruse this list and mull.
On the plus side…
- Freedom
- Independence
- Sense of identity
- Ability to make your own decisions
- Change of scenery
- Get along better with parents
- New friendships and relationships
- New experiences
- Confidence in yourself
On the minus side…
- Losing touch with friends
- Conflict or stress with family
- Relationships ending
- Changing schools
- More responsibility
- Having to remember to pay bills yourself
- Losing day-to-day contact with family and some of its perks like the family car
- Lack of supports
Before moving out, you should be prepared to deal with your parents’ reactions and feelings about your decision. Having a child leave home, no matter how mature you might be, can be a difficult transition for your parents to make. You have been a major part of their everyday lives for many years. They’ll probably be concerned about your ability to manage and they’ll certainly worry about your safety. How they react will be different, based on your relationship before this decision to move.
Have patience. Sit down and discuss your reasons for wanting to leave home before you make any definite plans. Be clear about what you want to do and why. Listen to their views and try to understand where they’re coming from. Make sure they know you respect their opinion and advice. Involve them in the planning. Moving involves a myriad of stressful details. You could certainly use all the help you can get!
Once you find a place you like, don’t be impulsive. Go back a second time before signing any papers, at a time when you would most likely be at home—maybe the weekends or after dinner. What happens in the dark— noise and lights—may determine your state of mind each night. Listen to the noise. Smell the air. Check out how easily and safely you can get around. Is there street parking? How close is the grocery store? The bank? What about the nail salon, the dry cleaners, and the drugstore? And very importantly, how far are you from your friends? It’s comforting to know there is someone nearby that you know.
Once you’re done giving the neighborhood its once over, it’s time to look closely within. Is the lighting appealing? Is the apartment clean? Are the mailboxes, doors, and windows sturdy, secure and safe? What about the front of the building? Are entrances lit and locked? Will the closets support your shopping habit? Check the temperature and the pressure of each tap, as well as whether you have control of the thermostat for heat and air conditioning.
Good luck. You know you have the skills necessary to make friends because you already have friends. Join a sports club or any community-based activity as soon as you can. While there is always some sadness involved at times of change, making the most of all the new challenges and opportunities will make any downside short lived.
