Healing emotional wounds
This is one of the most vital and important areas of deliverance ministry that we cannot overlook. While it is important to cast out demons, it is just as important, if not more important, to minister to the emotional wounds. Emotional wounds are one of the most common reasons that deliverances can fail or demons seem to keep coming back and regaining inhabitation within the person. I need to make it clear that if you are going to be in the deliverance ministry, it is an absolute necessity that you learn about emotional wounds and how to bring the person to the point where they can receive inner healing from the Holy Spirit.
Our goal is not to forget a hurtful event or trauma, but to receive healing for that event, where the Holy Spirit removes the stinger from it. When we look back upon a healed wound, we can see it in a different way, because it has been healed and is no longer painful to look back upon.
Identifying emotional wounds
The first thing we need to do is identify the problem, and realize the need for inner healing. Below is a common list of common symptoms to look for in somebody who has an emotional wound:
Inner rawness: there's often a sense of inner rawness and hurt that doesn't seem to go away.
Irritability: it's easy to become irritable with others, even if they aren't doing anything wrong!
Little or no tolerance: there is a low tolerance issue with others, where you expect and demand from them.
Feelings always rising up: feelings of anger, hate, resentment, etc. seem to "rise up" within you at the slightest offense from others.
Overly sensitive about an event in your past: If there are events in your past which cause you to become very sensitive or angry, or even cause you to lash out, then it is likely revealing a deep emotional wound tied in with that event or memory.
Hard to forgive: it becomes very difficult, if not impossible to love and therefore forgive others. It can also be hard to forgive and love yourself. It can even be hard to forgive and love God, even though He has done nothing wrong against you!
Hard to feel loved: it is hard to clearly see and realize the love of others and God in your life. You may be surrounded by people who love you, but it can be difficult to fully feel and receive that love. There seems to be a wall up that blocks the flow of love into your life.
Lashing out: when there's an inner wound that has festered, it becomes easy to lash out or have sudden outbursts of anger, hate, resentment, etc. You may find it easy to lash out at people who love you, and have done you no harm.
Feelings of anger towards God: when a person has been wounded, it becomes easy to blame God for their troubles and hardships. This is the last thing that you want to do when seeking to be healed, because it virtually puts a wall in your mind that can block the healing power of the Holy Spirit to operate. Although He desires to heal your wound, He will not override your freewill, and if you hold hate in your heart against Him, it can block His efforts to heal your wounds.
Self-hate: many times when a person is hurt from past abuse, they will begin to think that perhaps what happened to them, was deserved because of something they did or the way that they were. This is not true. Abuse is never acceptable, even if a child was being out of order. Parental love disciplines and corrects, but never abuses.
Easily frustrated: because an inner turmoil that an inner wound causes, it is easy to become easily frustrated with everyday chores and responsibilities.
Escapism: as a result of inner turmoil, it is easy to desire to escape or suppress reality. This can be in the form of overeating, drinking, smoking, porn, spending binges, etc. When a person indulges in escapism, addictions can form, and open the door to spirits of addiction, which makes the addictions virtually impossible to break.
Cutting: a person who is a cutter usually has an alter inside the person who is holding much pain, and needs to release the pain or it honestly feels that it deserves the pain (self-hate/religious bondage).
Retaliation urges: because of built-up hate and anger as a result of unforgiveness, somebody who has a festering inner wound will find it easy to retaliate or snap back at those who offend them or step on their toes.
Irresponsible behavior: inner pain has a way of consuming a person's mind, and eventually this can take on a careless approach to life. It is hard to feel good about yourself if you have an inner wound, and if you don't feel good about yourself, it will begin to show in your lifestyle.
Irrational expectations of others: somebody who has been wounded may set high expectations for those around them. They feel that others ought to hold up to unrealistic standards, and are very intolerable to any mistakes made. They find it hard to forbear (put up with) one another as the Bible commands of us (see Colossians 3:13).
Perfectionism: a person who has an emotional wound may also be performance driven. Perhaps they felt like no matter what they did, they could never please a parent or authority figure, and later on in life, that rejection wound causes the person to be a performer to the point where they are never satisfied and burned out by their efforts.
Feelings of hopelessness: I believe this is also a common result of unresolved inner wounds. Since the love of God is blocked in your life, it becomes hard to see why He would love or care for you, and therefore you become an easy target for feelings of hopelessness.
Drivenness: when you suffer from an emotional wound, it can create a sense of void in your life's meaning, thus driving you to find meaning and purpose and happiness. This could be in the form of college degrees, careers, financial success, etc. Instead of appreciating the person who God has made (YOU!), you find yourself chasing what you think will bring true happiness and purpose to your life.
Obsessive Compulsive Disorder or OCD: it is my belief that Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) often involves emotional wounds that were never fully healed. This is especially true with people who have bondages to self-hate, self-resentment, self-unforgiveness, etc.
Hostility towards God, self, and others: because of bound up emotions, a person can tend to feel hostile towards God, other people in their life, or even themselves. This is usually rooted in a form of bitterness against God for not preventing something from happening to you, bitterness against somebody who has wronged or harmed you emotionally, or bitterness against yourself for failures that you've fallen into yourself.
Be honest with yourself!
If you had a headache, would you go to the doctor and tell him, "There's something wrong with me, but I don't want to think about it long enough to figure out what it is! I don't know what's wrong with me! I don't know if it's a headache, a stomachache, a runny nose, or an ingrown toenail!" You would never do that when seeking physical healing, would you? Then why do we so often do this very thing when we are seeking inner healing? We know that there's a problem, a wound, but we don't want to even peek into our pasts to figure out what is really wrong! If you're going to receive healing for an emotional wound, you need to first be honest with yourself and what has happened. Let's get started by answering some basic questions:
Who is it that you hate or blame? Be honest with yourself; there's somebody in your past that you, or an alter within you, is holding something against. Be specific, and go back as far as you can. If you can figure out when this wound began, and who is responsible, it is the first step to receiving healing for the wound.
What did they do to you? Make a list of everything that was done to you, which you still hold against them in your heart. What might be a list of things which you still hold onto in your heart? What things can't you seem to easily forget? I'm not referring to a list of people whom you haven't forgiven, but rather a list of people/events where you just cannot seem to release it from your heart.
Don't try to cover up their mistake and say that it was alright. If they did you wrong, then there's no getting around that. Being honest about what was done to you is very important.
What things have you done, that you deeply regret? Make a list of things that you still, to this day, regret doing. If you have any feelings of self-hate, self-unforgiveness, etc., then you need to be honest and figure out why you hate yourself.
Is there anything in your past that you feel excessively embarrassed or ashamed of? This is a common cause for self-hate. If there are things which you still haven't forgiven yourself of, then now is a good time to make a list of those things, so that you can effectively forgive and release the hate held secretly within your heart against yourself.
It is vital that we get right down to the roots, and lay out the specific reasons why there are wounds that have not yet healed. Spiritual infections, like natural infections, will fester and grow worse when in the dark; it is important to bring the issues to the light, so they can no longer fester, but receive the healing light of Christ into those areas of the mind and emotions. If you cannot be honest with yourself, and bring these things out into the light, then you're only hindering the healing power of the Holy Spirit from ministering to those wounds and bringing about healing in your mind and emotions.
Keys to inner healing
The first thing that you want to settle, is any feelings of guilt and shame, especially any feelings that God is somehow disappointed or angry with you. When dealing with a physical wound, what is the first thing you do? Cleanse it from germs so that it can properly heal. When dealing with spiritual or emotional wounds, carrying around baggage (guilt, shame, fear, etc.) makes the healing process much more difficult. Getting yourself to the point where you know that God loves, forgives, and accepts you, is one of the foundations to receive inner healing. Knowing that God isn't angry or disappointed in you creates an atmosphere where you can freely turn your burdens over to Jesus, and trust Him to take care of them. Carrying around a burden of shame is a sure way to hinder the inner healing process because it mentally separates us from the healing work of Jesus. If we want to freely receive healing for our damaged emotions, then we need to settle it in our minds that God is not angry with us, and stand on God's Word about our sins being forgiven and washed from us by the Blood of Christ. A couple good teachings I have on this include: Is God upset with me? and Will God forgive me?
One of the biggest keys to receive healing for damaged emotions, depends on your perception of God, and how He feels about you and your healing. You must realize that he is the source of your healing, and deliverance... and NOT your problems! Blaming God for your problems will put up an invisible wall, which will hinder His healing power from flowing into your mind and emotions. The Holy Spirit will not override our freewill, and when we blame Him, our freewill is putting our hand up in His face. It is important that our freewill allows His work and does not blame Him for the bad thing(s) that have happened to us. It is important to realize that God is for you, and not against you. He desires to see you healed and restored to wholeness even more than you do!
Open up those wounds, and give the pain to Jesus. What you want is to open up those wounds before the light (Jesus), so that they can be healed. As long as you hold them in darkness, they will never fully heal. If you had a physical wound, and it turned into an infection, and you merely put a bandaid over the wound, would that solve the problem? Of course not! You need to take that mask off, expose it to the light, and apply the healing and germ-killing light of Christ into that wound so that it can heal.
God's Word tells us to cast our cares upon Him, for He cares for us (see 1 Peter 5:7). We need to realize that Christ has taken our pain on the cross, and if we will transfer it to Him, He is waiting to heal our wounds. The Holy Spirit has shown me this very important key to inner healing: Why should we carry something that Christ has carried for us on the cross?
Surely he hath borne our griefs, and carried our sorrows [grief, pain, affliction]: yet we did esteem him stricken, smitten of God, and afflicted. But he was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace was upon him; and with his stripes we are healed.
Isaiah 53:4-5
The word "sorrows" in this passage, actually translates to grief, pain, or affliction. When Jesus shed His blood, He carried our inner pain and wounds, so that we don't have to! God's Word tells us that He cares for us, and because of this fact, we are told to cast all - not some, but ALL - of our cares upon Him (see 1 Peter 5:7).
Being thankful for Jesus carrying our sorrows is another key to break-through. If you choose to carry your own sorrows, it is usually because (a) you don't really realize or believe that He carried your sorrows, or (b) you haven't taken the time to think about or understand what Jesus did. Anytime when we seriously look at what Christ did for us, it's impossible not to be thankful for such a gift that He's so lovingly purchased for us! Being thankful will make you eager to take advantage of what Christ has lovingly carried for you.
I want you to picture Jesus standing there beside you with tears in His eyes, feeling the hurt and suffering that you're going through. We are told to cast our cares and concerns upon Him - why? Because He CARES for us! Picturing Jesus standing there beside a situation with tears in His eyes can be very powerful. John 11:35-36 tells us that, "Jesus wept. Then said the Jews, Behold how he loved him!"
Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you.
1 Peter 5:7
Developing a thankful attitude is another big key to receiving healing for our emotional wounds. Thankfulness leads to trust - if you are thankful for what God's given you, then you will find it easy to trust Him in those areas of your life. Thankfulness is also a big key to overcoming rejection issues - how is that? Because when you begin to look at all that Christ has done for you, it is impossible to feel rejected by your heavenly Father, which is one of the big keys to healing rejection. God's Word actually commands us to be thankful:
And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to the which also ye are called in one body; and be ye thankful.
Colossians 3:15
Not only are we commanded to be thankful, but the Bible also tells us what can happen when we are unthankful:
Because that, when they knew God, they glorified him not as God, neither were thankful; but became vain in their imaginations, and their foolish heart was darkened.
Romans 1:21
An unthankful heart is prone to unforgiving, unloving, resentful, and all sorts of hateful feelings against others. It is a poison to our emotional health and ability to receive the healing that God wants to bring to our wounds and hurts. Those who are unforgiving and judgmental towards others have forgotten what God has done for them. Anybody who truly thankful for how God has treated them, would go about treating others the same way and He treated them.
Begin to be thankful for the little things which God has created for you to enjoy. Little things such as the birds singing in the trees or your pet cat or dog - they were made for us to enjoy! It is hard, if not impossible to be thankful and unforgiving at the same time. When we realize what Christ has done for us, and are thankful for such an expensive gift that has been purchased with Jesus' own blood for us, then we will naturally forgive those who wrong us - that love is contagious and will flow through us. We cannot honestly look at what Christ has done for us, and not overflow with thankfulness in our heart! Becoming thankful is a huge key to breakthrough if you struggle with unforgiveness. Unforgiveness and unthankfulness are closely related. For more information on a thankful heart (which is packed with Holy Ghost revelation!), check out my teaching series on A Thankful Heart.
Fear is often a tool of Satan because when we puts our trust in God, tremendous amount of peace and healing can then take place. Fear will keep a person holding onto what must be released into Jesus' hands. This is another reason why we must come to know the true good and loving nature of God towards His children. Knowing that God is a good God and has your best interest in mind, paves the way to being able to trust Him with the concerns in your life. You need to know that you can trust God with your needs, He understands them, and desires to help you!
Another key to receive inner healing, especially from a background or root of rejection, is coming to a place where you know that God loves you dearly and has your best interest in mind. If you have a hard time believing that God is good towards you and has your best interest in mind, then I highly recommend Gloria Copeland's book entitled, "Blessed Beyond Measure." Satan and evil spirits are always eager to make a person feel as if God is angry with them. It puts the person on the edge of their seat and makes them afraid of God, which causes them to feel discouraged in their relationship with Him, and tend to give up on spending time with Him and drawing near to Him (the source of their healing!). It's no wonder Satan wants us to feel like God is somehow angry or disappointed in us! Try this: if you have struggled and felt like God is angry with you, then try to imagine that God sees you, knows where you've been, and yet still looks favorably on you? It will loosen up the tenseness on your whole system once you begin to see things as God wants you to see them. Once you can imagine it, then turn to God's Word, and learn of how He really does look upon you with favor and hope! He's always calling us back to repentance, so that He can restore our relationship with Him. I can't tell you how powerful that imaginations can be when used for God's glory instead of Satan's. This is a powerful key to freedom and healing for many!
Another key to inner healing is not to meditate or continue to think about what was done to you. Once you give that to the Lord, don't continue to think about how badly you were wronged. You will cause emotional wounds to fester when you choose to continue thinking about what was done to you. Don't get me wrong, we are to face what was done to us, head on, honestly, and don't deny what was done to us, but once we give all the pain and hurt to Jesus, then we need to leave it there. If you have two dogs, and you feed one but leave the other to starve, then which one will be around? The one that you feed of course! We need to make a solid choice not to dwell/feed upon what was done to us, as it will reenforce the reason as to why we are hurt or angry. This is a very important key to receiving healing from emotional wounds.
As absurd as this sounds, you need to revisit the pain! By going back to the place where the pain was formed, and revisiting that wound in your soul, it will allow you to truly and fully forgive, thus pulling the pain up at it's root. The job can be half-done if you simply say, "I forgive them" without thinking of what you are really forgiving them of. When you can revisit that pain, and forgive out of the love in your heart, then your healing will come naturally! It may also help to picture Jesus standing there besides you while you were being wronged, and think about how He felt about what was done to you. You shouldn't have to keep forgiving the same person for the same offense that took place 10 years ago; we need to reach the point of pain, and forgive at the scene of the accident. I'm not saying that we must revisit the same physical place, but rather the memories and place in your mind where the abuse or pain took place.
Are you problem focused? Or solution focused? The Holy Spirit also gave me a strong revelation on this. Those who keep focused on the problem rather than the solution will begin to see the problem as larger than the solution. Are we paying more attention to the problem than we are the solution? Is your problem bigger than God's solution? Jesus came to bring solution, and by us accepting the solution, it makes use of His labor and blood which brings Him much glory, but by paying more attention to the problem, we ignore the solution that Jesus provided and make a mockery of what He went through for us. Being problem focused creates an atmosphere where depression, unforgiveness, irritability, and hopelessness can breed. You cannot experience inner healing as long as you are focused on the problem. If you want to receive healing, you must stop focusing on the problem, and begin meditating on the solution. There's a couple powerful teachings that I recommend for further information on this subject: "What's on your mind?" and "The Power of Your Thoughts"
Stop listening to the devil! The devil and his evil spirits work diligently to aggravate the wound to keep it from healing. This work is done by keeping the person reminded of how badly they were wronged or what was done to them. The devil seeks to remind you about why you are angry or hateful towards that person who has wronged you. Demons will do this same thing when trying to develop bondages of fear in a person; they seek to remind the person about why they are fearful. This is why it is vital to stop listening to the voice of the devil, because his goal is to aggravate the wound and make it fester into an even deeper infection.
It can be tempting to desire hatred over healing! When a person has been wounded, they will often choose to retain the feelings of hate and resentment, than to be healed of their wound and see God make everything alright. Do you really want to be healed? Or would you rather hold on to feelings of hate and resentment inside your heart against that person(s) who has wronged you? Would you rather see them suffer and punished for their wrong, or would you rather be healed yourself and let off the hook for your mistakes that you've made in life? Remember, Jesus made it clear that if we want to be forgiven and let off to hook for our failures in life, then we need to let others off the hook and give them what we want God to give us - that is, His mercy and forgiveness!
Stop blaming the person who wronged you, because it wasn't what they did to us or what they are doing to us that is keeping us in bondage, it is our own reactions to what was done to us which holds us in spiritual prison. It is our own anger, hate, resentment, and unforgiveness which will keep us behind spiritual bars! We need to take responsibility for your own failures. One of the reasons that we have a hard time forgiving is because we would have nobody else to blame for our problems. It is important for us to take responsibility concerning our own failures, and give up those things which do not honor the Lord in our hearts. We aren't responsible for what was done to us, but we are responsible for how we chose or choose to react to what happens. Until we can realize our own failures (how we've been reacting to what was done to us) and take responsibility for what we've allowed into our minds and lives, then it can be a blockage to our emotional healing. Blaming others will hinder the healing power of the Holy Spirit in our lives, therefore it must be dealt with before healing can freely flow into our mind and emotions.
Remember, it is not what was done to us that keeps us in bondage, it is our reaction to what was done to us which causes all the spiritual bondage and torment! When a woman is raped, it isn't the rape which causes her spiritual bondage, but rather the way she reacted to it; the hate and resentment that is felt afterwards is what gives Satan a foothold. What if the person who has wronged us is still doing it today and has no repentance in their heart? What they are doing to us cannot keep us in bondage, however, how we choose to react to what they are doing can hold us in bondage and torment spiritually.
Perhaps Satan's best-kept secret to prevent a person's soul from healing, is to cause them to feel like God is somehow disappointed in them, or even angry with them. If the enemy can cause a person to feel like God is not eager to forgive or be merciful to them, this is a sure roadblock to anybody's healing process. This causes a person to distance themself from the very person (Jesus) that desires to heal them. You cannot distance yourself from God and receive healing to your emotions at the same time. Drawing neigh to Him is a huge key to receiving healing. One day the Holy Spirit spoke to me (twice actually!) and said, "A sound mind comes from knowing me." God's word tells us that He is the one who gives us a sound clear mind of love and power (see 2 Timothy 1:7). Jesus tells all those who are heavy laden (people who are carrying emotional and mental baggage) to come unto Him, and He will give them rest (see Matthew 11:28-29). One of the biggest keys to inner healing, is to come unto Jesus, but Satan's way of preventing that, is to make the person feel like God is angry with them. This has a lot to do with our perception of our relationship with God. If we don't perceive ourselves as being made right with God, it will cause all sorts of spiritual problems and seriously prevent the inner healing process. I have a powerful teaching just on this very subject which I recommend anybody seeking an inner healing to read. It's called, "Will God Forgive Me?" and it is full of revelation from the Holy Spirit on this. I am not covering this in detail here, so be sure to read this other teaching as well!
Another one of the biggest keys to inner healing is tearing down walls that prohibit the healing power and light of the Holy Spirit to reach the wound to bring healing. The Holy Spirit is very eager and ready to heal our wounded emotions, but He's also a gentleman and won't override our freewill. He honors our freewill so much, that He would even let us choose to reject Jesus and end up in hell - He won't even force us to go to heaven! Our freewill can choose to take down our emotional walls or to hold them in place. What are these walls that I am referring to? They are our own reactions to what was done to us. When we react in anger, bitterness, resentment, and choose to give place to the devil in our hearts, we are putting up walls around our wounds that will prohibit the light of Christ from healing them. That is why it is vital that we take responsibility for our reactions to what was done to us. We are not writing off or discrediting what was done to us, but simply not allowing walls to go up which will prevent the Holy Spirit from healing our wounds.
The Holy Spirit also gave me a strong word on our transparency with Him when seeking inner healing and freedom from fears. Transparency is very important when seeking healing for emotional wounds. What heals our wounds? The healing light of Christ! What does light require to pass through? Transparency! The Holy Spirit spoke to me about this, saying, "If you want my healing light to heal your damaged emotions, then you must be transparent with me... for light requires transparency to pass through." Now those weren't the exact words, but that was the message that He gave me.
It is important to make sure that you have forgiven yourself, and are loving yourself as Christ loves you. It is vital that you see yourself as God sees you, as cleansed, washed with the Blood, and your past failures actually removed from your account. If you continue to walk around beating yourself up as if you haven't been forgiven, then you are actually denying the work that Christ has done for you on the cross! Many times, those who have emotional wounds are in bondage to guilt and condemnation, and coming to the realization that their sins are forgiven, is perhaps one of the single most powerful keys to receive healing from emotional wounds.
One helpful thing is to find somebody to talk with about your problem who will love and pray for you. There is tremendous healing power in bringing something out into the open and sharing it with a fellow believer who loves you and will pray for you. The Bible tells us that we need to confess our faults (which I believe also applies to our wounds and weaknesses) to one another and pray that we are healed:
Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much.
James 5:16
If you want to receive mercy in your situation, then you need to be merciful to those who have wronged or hurt you. Jesus tells us in Matthew 5:7, "Blessed are the merciful: for they shall obtain mercy." Do you want to receive mercy in your situation? Have you been merciful in your heart towards those who have wronged or wounded you? Could the very reason that you aren't receiving mercy, is because you're not being merciful? Mercy and forgiveness begin in a person's heart, as Jesus says in Matthew 18:35, "So likewise shall my heavenly Father do also unto you, if ye from your hearts forgive not every one his brother their trespasses."
Finger pointing or blaming others is an outward manifestation of the root of bitterness. This is called resentment, and it goes hand in hand with refusing to accept personal responsibility for something. Somebody who has been raped or abused usually finds it easy to blame the person who wronged them and perhaps even blame God for allowing it to happen, while they are overlooking the fact that the hate, resentment, and unforgiveness are built up inside themself, which is the very thing holding them back from being healed. Jesus has commanded us (a requirement, not an option) in John 15:12, "This is my commandment, That ye love one another, as I have loved you." When we allow resentment and unforgiveness reign in our hearts, we are disobeying that command which Jesus gave us, and allowing hatred to fill our hearts instead. It's no wonder that Satan and evil spirits take advantage of such negative emotions!
Another important step to the overall healing process is to seek deliverance from any spirits that have entered in through the wound. Demons will often enter in through trauma or abuse, and must be removed in order to ensure complete healing and restoration. Emotional wounds promote an atmosphere of unforgiveness which can open a person up to spirits such as anger, hate, rage, resentment, critical, judgmentalism, or even murder! It is vital that any such spirits be removed, as they can work diligently to aggravate the wound in order to prevent it from healing.
Further information on inner healing can be found in my other teaching titled, Steps to Inner Healing.
Answering some of your questions...
When you say "open up those wounds before the light (Jesus) so that they can be healed", do you mean telling Jesus what happened to you?
That is definitely a very good thing to do! What I meant though, was being open with your heart before the Lord. Oftentimes, if we sin for example, we attempt to "hide" our sin, and walk away from God even more. Being open with the Lord about the feelings in our heart (whether they be hurt feelings, etc.) is very important. One of the mistakes that I have done in my own life with inner healing, is when I wasn't "including God" in the healing process. I feared some things, and I wasn't willing to "let the light of Christ shine" on those areas of my life. I think a African proverb says, "When it's time to wash, don't hide your belly button." Being open and honest with God about the wound, and "bringing it to His table" is very important. The Bible tells us to cast our cares upon the Lord. We need to include Him in our struggles! Jesus is very much familiar with all the weaknesses that you and I face, and actually desires to be involved in our battles. The Bible tells us to cast our cares upon the Lord... why? Because He CARES for us... He wants to be a part of what we're going through. He wants to be right there by our side when we're facing weaknesses and hardships! I've actually found myself covering up a wound one time, and I might as well have said, "Lord, it's alright, I got it all under control!" Sometimes we can tend to hide our problems instead of bringing them before the Lord.
