Starting Today,

You Can Be As Happy As You Wish…

If You Get Rid Of These

10 Deadly Habits.

You’ve been on a path your whole life that you thought would bring happiness, but instead you’re feeling far from it. Destination: Lost.


Humans are imperfect, that’s for sure! But if something feels off-kilter these days and you’re not where you want to be, here are ten possible reasons that you’re driving on the wrong road away from happiness.

1. Holding on to the past

Whether you’re holding on to good or bad memories, spending your life in another time or place does not propel you forward into something for the better. Pay attention to what you are doing right now, today. Learn from your past experiences, thoughts, and feelings, and live now; beauty can unfold in magical ways right in front of you if you just look.

2. Negative self-talk
“I’m not good enough,” is a poisonous thought. Each day, write down ten affirmations or things you like about yourself. This is probably the easiest way to rewire your brain if you keep at it. Love doing you: just because someone you really cared about never loved you, it doesn’t mean you can’t love yourself. In the end, your love and positivity will matter more, rather than relying on others to find it.

3. Procrastinating
Sometimes it seems like the internet is usually one big procrastination machine where you can’t get anything done. You have an automatic switch in your head – when a due date is nigh, it’s suddenly time to watch season one of Beverly Hills: 90210! Start with one imperfect baby step at a time instead of putting off a task. The more you “forget” about what you need to do, the more you end up actually thinking about it.

4. Blaming others
It feels justified to blame others because you know it’s not your fault things turned out the way they did. But blaming others when you’re having a tough time means that you’re denying responsibility. In fact, you’re making the problem worse by self-victimizing. If you’re really upset about a situation, allow yourself to feel the feeling of anger or fear, or whatever it is, instead of blaming someone else for it. Then when you’re ready, let go.

5. Living for a paycheck
There’s actually nothing more soul-destroying than working a job you hate just for the money. Work takes up a large percentage of your life, and if you’re not happy in life, the money truly won’t matter. Do work that defines who you are. Who are you, anyway? Take some time to figure that out, ask yourself uncomfortable questions, and slowly start finding an imperfect path to fulfillment.

6. Never opening the door to challenge
Never accepting challenges is like never wanting to change. Hiding in a corner because you’ve always done that because you never felt loved and you felt ashamed for these feelings will never empower you to be something beyond that. You’ll be stuck in that corner forever, perpetuating the cycle. Tackle the problem one day at a time instead of running away from it. If you’re a shy recluse who doesn’t leave the house, go out in public once a day and look someone in the eye before you move on to your bigger fears.

7. Comparing yourself to others
Your life does not revolve around your fantasy of what other people’s lives appear to be on the surface. You’re looking at Sally’s job at the Best Company Ever and thinking that she must have the Best Life Ever, when, in fact, there’s a total disaster area happening in another part of her life. If you often catch yourself comparing yourself to others, consider deactivating your social media channels for a day and see how you feel. Studies on how Facebook affects self-esteem may very well apply to you.

8. Being ungrateful
Learn to become grateful for the bad experiences you’ve had or the mistakes you’ve made. Sit and dwell and feel crappy about it if you have to – it’s better than denying it. You just got fired, and yes, it’s going to feel pretty bad for a long time. But you learned that the job wasn’t right for you. Now it’s time to embark on a new, better path. Wake up each day thankful to be alive. Notice what you have that others do not.

9. Not being nice to yourself
Practice self-compassion. Ugh, not another one of those words again, like “affirmation.” But trust me, being fully with yourself in a loyal, nonjudgmental way is one step to happiness. Don’t say anything to yourself you wouldn’t say to a friend or family member that you love. You need care, concern and unconditional acceptance as much as the next person.

10. Trying to be someone you’re not

Your whole life, your parents pressured you to get good grades so you’d end up in medical or law school. But that’s never what you wanted. At some point, analyze the mental childhood conditioning you’ve been brought up with. Check in with yourself. Wanting to be pretty and rich might really mean wanting attention, which might really mean wanting to be loved for who you are. It’s time to start digging deep!

10 Things That People Love About You

It’s about time you stop putting yourself down! Each and every one of us was put on this earth to impart our wisdom to the world. We have so much to teach everyone we meet, directly and indirectly. You have value and you are valued.

What are 10 things that people love about you?

We are pretty sure the following make it on to the list:

1. Your Courage
Think of all the hardships you’ve been through. How else do you think you got through the tough times? It certainly wasn’t because you got scared and buried your head in the sand.

And yes, it certainly wasn’t fun to, say, go through unemployment or even a family loss, but think of how others looked up to you when you braved the stormy seas. Whether you realize it or not, you probably encouraged many others to become more courageous, just like you.

Being courageous also means taking risks. Think that what you’ve done so far in life isn’t risky? Recall those times when you hopped on a plane to go on vacation to Thailand or other places where English isn’t the first language. Many people would be terrified to do something like that.

2. Your Energy
You work harder and give your time to those you love a lot. Don’t even try to dispute that because you know it’s true! You’ve got so much enthusiasm that people feel more energetic just by being around you. The way you talk, the way you walk, it’s just so electrifying!

3. Your Ability to Love
Your friends and family are around for a reason. You obviously bring a smile to their faces and value their time. The care and attention that you bring to each and every one of your relationships is one of the many reasons why people love you. Don’t believe it? Go through every single email your friends and family have written you. How many thank-yous do you notice? Better yet, do you have any handwritten cards or thank-you notes people have sent to you that you’ve kept? Obviously, the way you show love to others has made a bigger impact than you thought.

4. Your Passion
The way you dedicate yourself to your job, or even your hobbies, shows others the amount of passion you have. You are probably passionate about helping others because people love to be around you. People can’t help but admire the way you talk about the love of your life, the latest charity event you went to, or even the way you describe the oh-so-perfect photo you took of that sunrise last week.

5. Your Sense of Humor
Everybody loves a good laugh. Perhaps you are the life of the party, telling fresh and witty jokes at every turn. Or perhaps you like to tell embarrassing stories about yourself, when people hang on to your every word. That means you have a great sense of humor. People love people who don’t take themselves too seriously.

6. Your Creativity
People love problem solvers. You love to fix issues at your job: that’s creativity at work. Love painting and photography? People admire artists. So, who cares if it doesn’t make money? Keep doing what you’re doing, Picasso!

7. Your Positivity
Nobody knows how to put a positive spin on things like you do. Whereas many people concentrate on the problems at hand, you look towards coming up with solutions. While some people complain when they get a cold meal, you are thankful that you are able to eat at such a lovely restaurant. Go on Buddha, spread the love!

8. Your Looks
Hey, let’s get real—you’re a good-looking person. So why shouldn’t people stop and stare every once in a while? Heck, you might even be the sharpest dresser at work. Move over, GQ and Victoria’s Secret models.

9. Your Smile
As if you aren’t good-looking enough already, you’ve got a dazzling smile. Carry on being so awesome…

10. Your Listening Skills
People love to be heard. Surely there have been times where people have turned to you for advice or even a shoulder to cry on. Why do you think they keep coming back again and again?

Only a special person like you is able to master the skill of listening. You really take the time to look at them, be in the present moment, and pause before you answer.

HAPPY NEW YEARS EVE!

11 WARNING Signs Of Unhealthy Relationships You Need to Be Aware Of

1. Your personal growth can not flourish in the relationship
Whereas healthy relationships offer safe havens for personal growth, people who feel that their own growth and happiness needs to be sacrificed for the survival of the relationship often find themselves going the wrong way in the tunnel of love.

2. You feel as if the life is being sucked out of you
Did you ever hear of emotional vampires? These unseemly characters thrive while sucking the energy and life out of others. If you feel like you are in a relationship that is draining your energy and leaves you feeling exhausted and spent, there is rarely a happy ending.

3. They don’t “get it“ that it’s not all your fault!
If you are involved with someone who tends to blame you for their anger and problems, and you spend too much energy either defending yourself or trying to be understood, stop expecting the light bulb to turn on. Rather, it only will serve to dim yours. After all, no one can make sense out of nonsense.

4. The conflict and arguments just keep popping up
Relationships that are defined by conflict, fighting, blaming and a lack of forgiveness spell disaster. Remember that it takes two people to argue, and another person’s unreasonable behavior is never any excuse for yours. Arguments are like the Finger Trap carnival toy: the more each side is pulled, as in an argument, the more both sides get stuck in the trap.

5. One person has most of the power over the two of you
Does your loved one have too much power over you, aside from the power of love? A sure sign of unhealthiness is when someone has more power over you than you have over yourself. Remember—no one has power over you unless you give it to them!

6. The negatives aren’t turning positive
Unhealthy relationships are filled with negativity, and bring out the worst in people rather than the best. Put-downs, criticisms, and insults are all examples of emotional abuse and should never be tolerated. No one deserves to be treated like that, and never make excuses for anyone who treats you that way.

7.  Being in need is confused with being in love
Look out for possessiveness and jealousy, as those signs are more about someone being in need rather than in love. If someone’s love is contingent on “what you can do for me” realize that there might not be room enough in the relationship for the two of you. If there is no foundation of trust in your relationship, you can trust that it’s a warning sign of more trouble ahead!

8. When the team is losing, they get lost
People who think they’re in love might really be more in infatuation. How do you know? One sure sign is when times get tough, the tough get going. It’s easy to be part of a winning team, but it’s time life does not go so smoothly that reveal the depth of a relationship. Infatuation is less about what a person can do for you and more about what you can do for the other person, especially through challenging times.

9. You feel worse about yourself, not better
Watch out for a relationship that do not make you a better “you.” If the relationship makes you feel worse about yourself and less comfortable in your own skin, it might be time to shed yourself of the relationship! Mature relationships are based on acceptance, not judgement of how someone thinks someone else should be.

10. The focus is on changing the other person
In unhealthy relationships, the focus is more about changing others rather than working on changing yourself. In a mutually respectful relationship, you won’t be trying to mold someone into your ideal person. When you do that, it becomes more about you than the other person, and becomes a recipe for chronic relationship unhappiness. In healthy relationships, people are respected for who they are, and are not anyone else’s “project.”

11. You lose yourself trying to find someone else
Last but not least, make sure that you don’t lose yourself in trying to find somebody else. As much as you may think you need someone else, you need yourself much more. 

So if you find yourself in a relationship that stunts your growth and can only survive at expense of your own emotional survival, might be time to get out of the love boat before you find yourself sinking!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TYRESE!

Tyrese Darnell Gibson (born December 30, 1978), also known simply as Tyrese, is an American Grammy-nominated R&B singer-songwriter, actor, author, television producer, and former fashion model.

C R A V I N G S !!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JOHN LEGEND !

John Roger Stephens (born December 28, 1978), better known by his stage name John Legend, is an American singer-songwriter and actor. He has won nine Grammy Awards, and in 2007, Legend received the special Starlight Award from the Songwriters Hall of Fame.

13 Simple Relationship Truths You Need To Know

We all seek relationship advice at one point or another. Whether we are entering a new relationship or trying to salvage an old one, it’s a safe bet that we basically have no idea what we’re doing. Love is not something that is planned, so most of the time, we just have to go along with it and figure things out for ourselves. Every relationship is different, and every problem calls for a different solution. That being said, there are a bunch of relationship truths that are universal.

1. Relationships aren’t simple.
They take work, time, and effort. They involve a heavy amount of compromise. You need to be like a doctor and have patience.

That was a joke. You also need to have a sense of humor.

2. There is no use “fixing” what isn’t broken.
Just because something isn’t simple doesn’t mean it’s not good. In order to succeed in life and in the business world, you must work hard and persevere. You aren’t going to quit your job just because you actually need to try. Similarly, you shouldn’t quit on a relationship just because it’s not all flowers and rainbows.

Also, there is nothing wrong with being content. Allow yourself to be happy and don’t be afraid of being comfortable. If there isn’t a problem with the relationship, then don’t go looking for problems.

3. You have to love yourself before you can love another person.
How can you expect to genuinely love another person’s qualities if you have trouble accepting your own? Once you are confident in yourself, others will notice you more. When you accept yourself for who you are, you will be able to fully appreciate and understand the best qualities of other people.

4. You can’t love somebody if you like nobody.
Keep an open mind when meeting new people. Don’t shut everybody out right away. The world has so much to offer, and you’ll never experience any of it if you refuse to venture outside of your comfort zone. Feeling uncomfortable is good sometimes. Like love, people will surprise you.

5. There needs to be a balance of intimacy and space.
Show interest in your significant other’s hobbies and work, but don’t intrude. Also, invite him/her into your own world. Spend time together, but don’t make it seem like you always need to be together in order to be happy. Share information about yourself that you wouldn’t normally share: your stories, your aspirations, your fears. Make yourself vulnerable. Encourage your partner to do the same. Listen.

Support your significant other and give honest feedback. Let your partner know that you might not be there during the climb but that you’ll be right behind, ready to catch him/her if he/she falls.

6. Communication is paramount.
Be on the same page as your partner, or at least be on the same chapter. I was in a relationship in which my girlfriend and I were in completely different books. As corny as it sounds, honesty actually is the best policy. Be honest with yourself and be honest with your partner.

7. Arguing is healthy.
You and your partner are not going to agree about everything, and that’s perfectly normal. The essence of healthy arguing is that you both know how to discuss these topics and understand each other’s opinions. Be mature and admit when you’re wrong, and accept the fact that not everybody shares your opinions.

8. People change.
This is something you cannot control. It is important to accept these types of things and worry instead about what you can control, which is the progress you make.

9. Relationships are not projects.
People might change, but you shouldn’t go into a relationship wanting to change somebody. It never works out the way you plan, and it means that you don’t truly love your partner for who he/she is.

10. Once a cheater, always a cheater.
If he cheated on his ex-girlfriend with you, what makes you think he won’t cheat on you with somebody else? Sure, people change, but morals don’t just appear out of thin air. When you embark on a relationship with somebody, you should have an idea of what you are getting yourself into.

11. You shouldn’t “stay friends.”
This is a mistake many couples make when a relationship ends. Everybody knows what it means: one person doesn’t want to cut the other out of his/her life completely, and the other person is thinking: “Awesome. We’ll be friendly for a while and then be back together within a month.” This is usually a bad idea for everyone, and it often leads to hatred. A way to avoid this is communication.

12. Hate leaves bruises, but love leaves scars.
Feelings of hatred and scorn are usually temporary. However, the damage that love can do to a person is often much more permanent. Lost love becomes a part of us; a mark we wear every day that reminds us of our past and all of the lessons we have learned. On the flip side, that “damage” can be a positive type of permanent. My parents have been in a loving marriage for over thirty years, and they certainly have the scars to prove it.

13. Relationships are like shoes.
Some look stylish on the outside, but only the person wearing them knows the pain they bear inside. Walking in a new pair is like being with a new person—unfamiliar at first, but as you break them in, you develop a sense of security. You reach that comfort zone in which you rarely need to untie the laces.

Some shoes, you outgrow. Some get worn out. Some cause you pain or leave you exposed. Some shoes you wear anywhere. Some shoes get dirty, and when you wear them, you can’t forget where they’ve been. Some shoes you hesitate to throw away. Some people wear shoes until they’re soulless.

14 Things to Do in Your Relationship

1. Talk about your day.
In any relationship, sharing every day experiences can help both sides. The person sharing can get any frustrations or thoughts off of his/her chest and the listener gets to know more about the other person.

2. Play together.
One important thing you can do in your relationship is to have fun and be silly together. Find a sitcom you both enjoy or Google jokes to tell each other. We’ve all heard that the best medicine is laughter, right? You can also break out the board games and a bottle of wine for a night of playful competition.

3. Make food together.
Whether it’s cooking dinner or whipping up homemade chocolate chip cookies, food brings people together. You not only get to spend time together in the kitchen, but you also get to revel in the success of your dish and enjoy a meal together.

4. Define boundaries.
Whether you’ve been together five days, five weeks or five years, you might not be on the same page all of the time. You need to let the other person know what is and is not okay in regards to the relationship. This knowledge will allow you both to feel more relaxed, safe and comfortable.

5. Be honest.
Nothing hurts a relationship like a lie. It might not even be a huge deal, but the deception alone breaks trust that can be hard to recover. If you are feeling guilty about something, however small, it might be best to confess right away to ensure it doesn’t come up later.

6. Snuggle.
Physical touch is so important to feel connected with your partner. Grab some popcorn and your favorite, movie and hunker down for a cozy night together.

7. Text good morning or good night.
Starting and/or ending the day showing your love you are thinking of him/her can help strengthen your relationship.

8. Encourage each other.
Whether your loved one is in school or working a job, he/she needs to know you support what he/she does!  Surprise your special someone a note of encouragement.

9. Hang out together in a group.
Spending time as a couple is important, but it’s also important to see your partner interact with other people. You will likely remember why you fell for this person in the first place.

10. Sweat together.
Being physically fit is important as it is, but those who are in romantic relationships tend to ditch the gym in favor of spending time with his/her loved one. Why not combine together time and gym time? Most individuals find it attractive to see their partner break a sweat!

11. Be willing to compromise.
You might not always see eye to eye in your relationship; after all, you are two different people! The key is to be understanding of the other person’s ideals and when possible, meet halfway. This does not mean you have to give up everything you believe in, however it also means that you might not get your way every time. Accepting this balance is key in a healthy partnership.

12. Compliment each other.
There is plenty of pressure from the outside world to be perfect—the perfect body, the perfect disposition, to be the most successful. A romantic relationship should be a safe place, so reassure your partner that he/she is attractive, loveable, and accomplished.

13. Travel together.
Exploring a new location, soaking up the sun, and trying new restaurants can help you further the bond of your relationship. If you travel via car to said destination, there is bound to be lots of conversations. You will surely get to know each other much better.

14. Be willing to work.
The final is a must. Relationships can be fun, but you also may encounter rough times. You must work through this to make your bond deeper and come out the other side stronger and happier than ever.

There might not be as much stress if you are not in a romantic relationship, but you certainly will not find the benefits of truly sharing life and love with someone if you don’t take the plunge!